Technology Deployment

I spent the morning at school helping with the technology deployment. We were distributing chromebooks to families that needed them for distance learning. We had over 100 families that had requested technology, but by noon less than half had actually come to pick them up. I’m not sure how the afternoon went.

The sky as I left to go to school 💕

When I got home a little after noon, Monkey Boy told me he was already done with all his class work, but Squirrel Girl hadn’t even finished her Reading/Writing assignments. I have to wonder if he ACTUALLY got everything done or if he skipped some of the directions. I didn’t bother checking.

After lunch was Specials time, and being a “Wellness Wednesday” I found a yoga video for them to do.

Back to work at 2:00 and by 2:30 SG wasn’t much farther along and she was in tears because it was taking so long. I hate that she compares herself to her brother. They approach work with very different attitudes. She is a perfectionist and he just does what he needs to do to move on to fun. Honestly, I don’t know what is taking her so long. According to the estimates of time it shows on the Learning Plan, they should only need to be working a total of 140 minutes. Yet after a supposed 3.5 hours of work she wasn’t even half done. I asked her if she was getting distracted, but she said she wasn’t. I’m not sure what to do to speed her up. At 2:30, I told her she needed to be done for the day because it was just too upsetting.

She asked me to read my favorite childhood book to her, but I had a virtual faculty meeting to attend. I could see her disappointment. It killed me. After the meeting, I walked away Friday my computer to spend time with family. The kids and I went outside while Nathan started getting things ready to grill fajitas.

Squirrel Girl decided to pull weeds while Monkey Boy and I tossed the basketball back and forth.

We also rescued a worm that SG must have dug up while weeding!

We got warm and moved back inside where I read the first 5 chapters of Julie Andrews Edward’s Mandy. It is one of the few books that I read over and over again as a kid and it still makes me cry as an adult. I’ve read the book to Squirrel Girl before, but she said she doesn’t remember the story, just that we read it while she was home sick several years ago.

Dinner was delicious and we followed that with fresh baked cookies and watching Masked Singer and LEGO Masters as a family.

Today my takeaway is that we need to find balance. SG can’t spend 8 hours of the day working on schoolwork. She needs to find a more efficient way of doing her assignments, but I’ve been too busy with my work to help her figure it out. I’m hoping to find at least a little time to work on that with her before next week.

By that same token, MB needs to realize he doesn’t get to spend 5 hours on video games or YouTube just because his work didn’t take all day. I think I need to make a list of things he has to do before he can ask for non-school electronics.

We are going to get through this. That much I know. And hopefully we will learn some valuable skills along the way. 🙏

New Habit

They say if you do something for two weeks straight it will form a new habit and become second nature. After a moving sermon at church on Sunday, I decided I needed to make a change.

For the last several months I’ve become increasingly grumpy with my kids. I’ve done little to cultivate learning in them, and I’ve snapped at them for things I’ve regretted.

The sermon was essentially to approach our daily lives with a “Mission state of mind.” Where even the most grueling of tasks are done with enthusiasm and pleasure because they are being done for the Lord.

While I may not be out on a mission, it is my mission to be a good example to my children and to teach them to be good Christians and good people. I have not been doing that job very well of late.

So what’s my new habit? First of all, I am setting my alarm for 6 AM every day. When I was working as a teacher and librarian I knew that I was not a morning person and needed some “warm up” time before facing my students. I was never able to “hit the ground running” and I don’t know why I’ve acted like I can as a parent. I’ve found that I tend to be much more grumpy when the kids (usually Lucas) wake me up before I want to be awake. Seeing as Lucas is a morning person, he and I were clashing like crazy. So even though I want to throw the alarm away when it goes off, I am reminding myself that if I do this every day for two weeks it will become easier. And I’m doing it for my kids and for myself.

I am also making it a point to work with the kids on the Reading the Easy Way curriculum I started with them back in October and fizzled out within weeks. I printed out everything for the entire 12 week program so that I no longer have the excuse of not having things printed. I’ve organized them in a binder so that all I have to do is pull things out as they are needed.

And I’m trying to be more hands on again. I’ve been bad about letting the kids entertain themselves the whole day instead of getting involved in their play. We’ve gone outside, played princesses, Candyland, and other games, and yesterday I sprayed shaving cream all over the bathtub and let them play. They had tons of fun and my bathtub got a little cleaner! 😉

Look at me!

Shaving Cream Fun

This is only Day 2 of my New Habit journey. By April 1st, I hope to report that we’re on the right path and that the clashing of our personalities has diminished. I love my children and the challenges they present, but I need to remember that I can only hope to face those challenges by first changing myself.

23 Months

Only one month until my babies are two. 😦 So how come Kyla’s already acting like she is? 😦

Sleep
It’s been rough lately. Not really sure why. The last few nights it’s felt like we’re being awakened every 30 minutes until 1 or 2 in the morning. Then they are up by 6:30 every day. And a couple of days in a row Kyla decided she didn’t need a nap at all, despite having fallen asleep at the table while eating lunch! It’s really taking a toll on me and my mood. I’m ashamed to admit that I haven’t been the most pleasant of mothers the past week. I tried to see if I could fake myself into a perky mood this morning, but it didn’t work. I really would like some continuous sleep! (Yet, I’m about to torture myself with no sleep this weekend for the 24 hour video race.)

Language & Communication
I think the most common phrase we hear these days is “Carry you!” which is what they say when they want us to pick them up. Lucas says it the most, but Kyla’s gotten in her fair share. They are becoming more and more clear in what they are saying, and really putting together whole sentences. Most of the time it sounds like the whole sentence is one melded word, but they get them all in there! 😉 And anything we say gets repeated. Or, the last word anyway. So if we ask them “Do you want water or milk” the answer is always “milk” but if we change it to “Do you want milk or water” the response becomes “water.” You’d think we could work this one to our advantage, but they just get frustrated when we give them what they asked for, but didn’t really want.

I’ve also been noticing a lot of communication between the two of them. I just wish I knew what they were saying! There are times when Kyla will go on and on for minutes at a time, talking about something very important, I’m sure, but we won’t understand any of it! Lucas seems to, though.

Gross Motor
We took the kids to the park to feed the ducks a week or so ago. We really need to work on their throwing. LOL Most of the time, the bread landed at their feet. It was pretty funny.

Climbing is a forever favorite, of course. And lately, they are not content to climb the stairs at the playground. Instead they want to use the funky ladder type things and give their mother a heart attack, expecting them to fall at any minute. Granted, I realize I could take them down and tell them no, but I don’t think that’s the right thing to do. I do stay close by so I can be there if they fall or get stuck, but I think they should be allowed to try. How else will they learn? Both yesterday and today they were climbing up the play structures like they were much older than they are.

Fine Motor
For Mother’s Day, N got me a card from each of them. On the cards from the kids he had them each “write” the letter “O” twice and then he wrote in words around them. Their “O” looks pretty much like a scribble, but I think it’s fun that they try. They’ve also been attempting to “write” on their magnadoodles. Kyla has me write the numbers 1-5, and then she tries to copy them. Of course, they look nothing like the actual numbers, but she says the numbers as she scribbles, which I think is so cute!

A while back I bought some spice shakers from the dollar store and gave them dry spaghetti to poke into the holes. They had a lot of fun with it, even if it did mean I’m STILL finding pieces of spaghetti all over the house! It was interesting watching the difference between the two of them as they attempted to line up the spaghetti just right. It was clearly more difficult for Lucas, which is to be expected.

That reminds me, they are both doing great with putting together puzzles! It’s fascinating to me watching Lucas progress from being frustrated by lining up the pieces just right, to being able to do it with little effort. And Kyla will turn the piece in the right direction as she picks it up, which I find impressive!

Cognitive
These kids are little sponges. They are picking things up that I don’t even realize I’ve been teaching them. They know several of their shapes. My mom sent a toy for Easter that sorts 6 eggs by shape, color, and face. They were able to correctly tell me circle, star, heart, and triangle, as well as put the eggs in the right spots. They only mixed up square and cross, which I think is really good! Imagine if I actually got my act together and started doing Tot School, like I keep saying I’m going to! Kyla can count to 3 on her own, and to 5 with me. And they both recognize the letter O and occasionally D. They’re still pretty iffy on most colors, but I think if I were to do some focused activities with them they’d catch on.

I really hope to get into a Tot School routine soon. Maybe it’s something I can do with friends, so we can share the planning. It’s a thought.

Social
We continue to go to several play dates each week. I love how comfortable they are with the kids and moms. We were even invited to a birthday party for one of our photo playgroup kids. They had a good time.

I’m impressed with how generally pleasant my kids tend to be when we’re in public. Now, we’ll just ignore the screaming Kyla did at the grocery store today because I made her wear her shoes, but for the most part we get nothing but compliments on their behavior.

We’ve been going to church for two months now and everyone in the nursery and Sunday School tell me how sweet they are. I don’t think they’d say that if they didn’t really believe it. 😉 I love that they get that time away from me, but I sure do wish I could be a fly on the wall and see what they do while I’m away.

Eating
The last two days have been an exception, but for a while now Kyla’s been quite the little pig. She is making me think it’s time to get them each their own kids meal when we go out to eat. Twice now she’s eaten her half of the meal and still wanted more. Thankfully, my friend was kind enough to share her meal, since mommy is kinda stingy with her food. 😉 I’m thinking she’s hitting a growth spurt, since she’s focused on the protein, rather than the carbs she always scarfed before. If they get much heavier, though, I don’t think I’ll be able to carry them much longer. Which I know Lucas won’t like!

Affection
I adore both of their hugs and kisses. However, I must admit that Lucas is a much better hugger, while Kyla is better at giving kisses. I can’t get enough of either! Of course, Kyla’s been a bit more stingy with her hugs and kisses lately. I’m SO dreading the teenage years with this one!

At night, Lucas has to give his sister a hug and kiss before he’ll go to bed. Kyla is not so inclined and will sometimes turn away from him. It doesn’t phase him, though. He just hugs and kisses whatever is facing him. 😉

Discipline
Kyla is definitely the stronger personality. When she wants something, she’ll pitch a fit, and inevitably, Lucas will simply give it to her. On the one hand, it saves us dealing with the screaming fit, but on the other hand I wish he didn’t give in so easily. I’m continuing to use “the corner” (time out) as a discipline tactic. But it’s kind of funny because occasionally they’ll be doing something I don’t want them to do and I’ll say “Do you need to go to the corner?” and instead of answering, they’ll go put themselves in the corner. It takes all I have to not laugh when they do that. They also know that as soon as they get up from the corner they have to say “sorry.” I’m not sure if it’s completely getting through to them (Kyla still pulls Lucas’s hair, no matter how many times we send her to the corner), but it at least stops the behavior for a while.

I do have to say that I’m pretty lucky. Yes, Kyla tends to go overboard with the tantrums (and everything is “no” these days), and Lucas can be a bit whiny/clingy at times, but I really do have two sweet and wonderful kids. I do sometimes have to remind myself of that at 1 AM when I’ve been in their room 90 times since putting them down at 8. Their smiles always help me to remember, though.

Visiting

The twins and I drove up to Oklahoma on Thursday and got back home yesterday. We got to spend a lot of time with LD and her kids. It was so fun to see how much Kyla and Lucas enjoyed playing with her kids (and vice versa). I thought it was funny that Kyla attached herself to S, while Lucas would ask for K. And it was nice for me to be able to sit back and let them entertain the kids for a while. 😉

LD was able to get us a discount on a suite in the hotel she works for. I thought being able to put them to bed and close the door would make staying in a hotel easier. I was wrong. They didn’t want me to leave the room. So I had to lay in the bed with them (we shared a king size) until they fell asleep. The first night I was able to sneak out of bed and get on the computer in the living room, but the second night I ended up falling asleep while waiting for them to settle. Probably because I was so tired from being awake from 3:30-5:30 because Lucas decided to talk and sing to himself. The second night he woke up every 2 hours and I’d have to pat his back to settle him back down. I was SO tired.

I imagine he slept poorly because he didn’t really get to nap much due to the circumstances. Plus, he’d already had his sleep/nap schedule thrown off by the visit from his aunt and cousin at the beginning of the week. I’m hoping we can get back to our regular schedule this week. Of course, we’re expecting to welcome my niece into the world any day now, so we’ll see how long we have before the schedule is out of whack again. This month is just crazy busy!

Staying in the hotel did give me some idea of ways to make traveling with them easier, though. First, try to keep their schedule as best as possible. The fact that other people are never on the same schedule as they are really messes things up. Most people are not ready to eat dinner at 5:30. But if they eat later, their bed time gets pushed back. Next, make sure there is a fridge in the room and bring (or buy) breakfast foods. That way we don’t have to get everyone dressed and downstairs to eat the complementary breakfast while wrangling kids (since they only had ONE high chair that I didn’t even see until we were done eating). I got food for them to eat the second morning and it went a lot better (or at least, I was less frazzled). Third, make sure the hotel has tubs, not just showers. My children did not get a bath for several days and started to stink a little. 😉 LD did offer for me to use their bath tub, but I didn’t bother, since it’s really a part of our night time routine. And last, but not least, bring reinforcements. Trying to do it alone was difficult. I know I watch them by myself most days, but for whatever reason, doing it while traveling is just 100 times harder. I truly think that if N had been there it would have been much easier. Though I suppose I could be wrong.

First Plane Trip/11 months/First Mother’s Day

First Plane Trip

Yes, it’s been a busy couple of weeks! Last week the babies took their first plane trip. We flew to FL to visit SIL and her new baby. The plane ride there wasn’t TOO bad. N had Kyla (who didn’t cry at all) and I had Lucas (who cried about 50% of the trip). We had to sit on opposite ends of the plane because 2 lap children are not allowed to be in the same row. The part that stressed me out the most, though, was going through security. Because of my defibrillator, I can’t go through the metal detectors. So that left N going through with both babies. You can’t push them through in a stroller (those go through the x-ray machine) and neither of the babies can walk yet, so once he was through he had to figure out how to get the strollers out and sit the babies in them while holding both babies (I was busy getting a pat down). He managed, but it sure did stress me out beforehand. I get that from my mother’s side of the family.

The hardest part of the trip, though, had to be naps. The babies just wouldn’t take them. At least, not in the hotel room. If we got into the car, they were out before we’d left the parking lot. They even managed to fall asleep in their strollers when we wandered around Downtown Disney. Which we did several times because they would get restless in the hotel room and climb into their strollers as if to say “Let’s go!”

We obviously spent some time at SIL’s apartment as well. But it was difficult to keep the twins out of trouble and we really didn’t want to be a bother to SIL while she’s getting used to being a mom (her son came home the day before we got there! :D). It was also difficult to feed the babies at her place because we didn’t have high chairs or booster seats for them, so the dogs kept trying to steal their food.

The plane ride back was easier, yet harder. N and I were able to get seats by each other (N was right behind me) and it just so happened that the seats next to us were empty, so the babies had more room to move around. That made it easier, but neither baby slept at all, which made it harder (well, Kyla fell asleep right as we landed). Lucas ended up crying as we landed. I assume his ears were bothering him. 😦 I know mine were!

11 Months

While we were gone the babies turned 11 months old. Here’s what they’re up to:

Mobility
Lucas loves to climb. He recently discovered he can climb on top of the shelves in the living room. Which has meant quite a few rearrangements of both furniture and shelf contents. There is currently nothing on the bottom shelf (which is actually a cabinet) and both Kyla and Lucas love to sit or lay on it. They spent a lot of time climbing while we were in FL. They were all over the place. And they have discovered that cabinet doors open and contain lots of fun goodies to get into. We really need to get latches on the cabinets now!

What?

Playing at All Star Sports

Communication
We’re pretty sure that Lucas is associating “Mama” with me and “Dada” with N. He also says “Ba” occasionally, and we think this is for “bottle.” Of course, we could be just projecting. 😉 Kyla still nods and shakes her head and I’m pretty sure she knows what they mean now. She hasn’t really been using her signs like she was, though, which makes me sad. Hopefully she’ll start using them again so we can understand what it is she wants. Right now her favorite form of “communication” is to screech. It’s annoying, to say the least.

Eating
They have their ups and downs with eating. While we were in FL it seemed that Lucas wasn’t eating much and Kyla only dug into two meals the whole week. But now that we’re back they seem to be scarfing food down like crazy, which is awesome. Makes me feel like maybe my cooking’s not so bad. 😉 They really loved last night’s “Tex-Mex Lasagna” that I made. They still take 5 bottles a day, but they seem to be eating smaller amounts than they were. Oddly enough, the bed time bottle seems to be the one they need the least. I’m trying to figure out how to transition them to drinking milk from a cup instead of a bottle, but so far have not had success. I need to give it a try again, but wanted to wait until we’re back in our own routine.

Eating Mickey Waffels

Sleeping
While we were in FL sleeping was not going well at all. For the first time since they were 3 months old, they each ended up sleeping with us at least once. In order to get them to go to sleep at all we had to hide in the bathroom until they quieted down. It was not fun at all. However, here at home they are pretty good sleepers. The last few days all it takes is me turning on their sound machine (next time we’ll be bringing it on any trip we take!) and laying them down. They settle in without a problem for the most part. Occasionally they talk to each other for a little while before finally going to sleep, but no major melt downs like we had in FL, thank goodness! Tonight and tomorrow night they’ll be sleeping at FIL’s house. Not sure how that will go. They really seem to prefer their own beds over pack ‘n’ plays.

Mother’s Day

On Mother’s Day N, the babies, and I tried Sanaa, one of the Restaurants at Animal Kingdom Lodge for the first time. It was neat sitting next to the window and seeing giraffes and other animals so close! The kids weren’t too interested in eating or the animals, though.

At the end of the meal I got up to go to the bathroom and when I came back I happened to get a glance of Kyla’s head. There were two very pronounced DENTS in her head! 😮 I showed them to N and we both started to freak out. She had fallen off the bed in the hotel room a couple of times and we were scared she’d broken her skull somehow. She wasn’t acting any different, though, so we weren’t sure what to do. We ended up putting a call in to the nurse hotline for their pediatrician. She said that if she wasn’t acting differently, it was probably okay to wait and see rather than rushing off to an ER. Later, we were telling SIL about it and when we went to show her the dents, they were gone! Apparently she had been resting her head on the table and it caused temporary dents and took a few years off N’s and my life!

Can you see the dents?

That night, N cooked dinner for all of us (fried rice and beef stir fry. YUM!). We also gave SIL some photos I had printed from her son’s first couple of days. It was kind of neat that we were both celebrating our first Mother’s Day together.

Other Stuff

The babies also got to ride on a bus and a boat for the first time. They were mostly content flirting with other passengers or falling asleep, but when things weren’t moving fast enough they got a bit fussy. Not too bad, though.

Disney Transportation

They also got to try swimming for the first time. They went back and forth on liking it. They liked it when we had them “chase” each other. I’m hoping to get them a wading pool for the backyard that we can play in this summer. I think they’ll like it.

First swimming pool

And probably Lucas’s favorite “first” from our trip was his first taste of ice cream. Kyla wasn’t quite as fond of the ice cream, but she did like the waffle bowl!

Ice Cream Euphoria

You mean you can eat the bowl?

Advantages

I thought I’d list some of the advantages to BLW.

First is less mess. I know it seems like a big mess to have 7 month old babies feeding themselves, but when compared to the purees that would get all over, I definitely think chunks of food that can be easily picked up off the tray, lap, or floor are WAY less messy than orange stains all over the place!

There’s less planning. When doing purees I had to think ahead about what, when, and where the babies were going to eat. When we went to Houston I had to pack food just for them, along with spoons. I also could only feed them at my sister’s house because she had high chairs, but my brother did not. Finding the time to feed them was also a hassle, since the days were so busy with visiting, driving around, and we were totally out of routine (not that I’d really found a good routine for feeding them yet anyway). Now, I just feed them when I eat. And frequently I feed them what I eat. Granted, sometimes I give them their own leftovers from the day before, but it is still WAY easier than making sure I have enough jars of whichever fruit or vegetable we’re supposed to be trying today.

Next is eating a hot meal. By giving them food while we eat, it keeps them occupied, happy, and included, which means we get to eat our meal warm instead of taking turns and letting someone’s meal get cold. I just wish we’d discovered this sooner!

Another wonderful advantage to BLW is TIME. I needed to get some soup put together and into the slow cooker for dinner tonight and planned to do it while the babies napped. Unfortunately, they both decided that napping was for the birds. 😦 So after unsuccessfully trying to get them to entertain themselves while I chopped and diced, I decided to stick them in their high chairs where they could see me and gave them some water, cucumber, and apple. They were happy as larks gnawing, sipping (or dumping) water, and watching me cook. 😀 No way to do that with spoon feeding!

Oh, and believe it or not, I’ve lost 3 pounds since starting the babies on table food. I’m eating better because I want the babies to eat what I’m eating and don’t want to give them trash. We have not done drive through in weeks, and neither N nor I have any desire to.

I’m a complete convert! There is no way anyone will ever convince me that BLW is not the way to go. I’m just sorry I let myself be convinced that I had to do purees initially and missed out on all this fun their first month of feeding!

Interesting Realizations

Okay, so I’ve figured out two things…

First involves the IUD I had put in one week ago. In the brochure it says that it works by preventing implantation, or something like that. But that’s a total lie. No, I believe the IUD works like this: It keeps you bleeding so long and so profusely you’ll never even THINK about having sex again… That’s how it’s 99.4% effective. 😛

The second is about the inducing lactation. I’ve realized that I will probably have to go back to waking up in the middle of the night to pump. This morning when I woke up my breasts were sore. Not unbearably painful, but uncomfortable for sure. I don’t think I was engorged or anything. I don’t make enough for that. But I’ve noticed that I get a little more sore the longer I go without pumping. I guess this is a good thing. Things continue to go well. Each day I seem to get a little bit more. I’m so excited that this is going so well. I just hope I’m not too exhausted by the time the babies arrive. 😉

Oh, wait. I think I came up with one more thing I realized… Registering is hard. N and I went to Babies R Us today to try and get a start on our registry, and I think we put about 10 items on it. We couldn’t decide on anything. Well, we were okay on some of the small things. But when we start thinking about the big stuff, we just can’t seem to settle on anything. Not too surprising, considering the fact that it took us over a year and a half before we finally got the TV we’d been talking about getting… Blah.

Time to pump and head for bed.

God’s presence…

When I started this blog I certainly was in a different place than I am today. I was agonizing, lamenting, and stressing over the all encompassing desire to become a mom. Today I can honestly say I know it will happen. It may not be tomorrow, it may not be next week, it may not even be the Sept/Oct transfer we’re hoping for. But that doesn’t matter. It will happen when it’s SUPPOSED to happen. God will bless me with a child when the right one is ready. HE is in control.

I’ve always had some degree of faith. But I’ve not been the most diligent about maintaining the relationship with God that helps to ease the stress and feel at peace. The last several weeks I’ve been calling on the Lord and thanking Him for his love and understanding. I have one person in particular to thank for bringing me back on the right path (other than God, of course). And that is LD. Talking to her over the last few months we’ve realized that God certainly had His hand it getting us together. But even more is the fact that she has been speaking so joyfully about her new church and the messages she feels have been meant just for her. It reminded me of how much I miss that relationship with God that I had back in college. It was when I was diligent in prayer, worship, and my relationship with Him that I met N and we fell in love. He was instrumental in that. And I know He is the one that will bring us to parenthood when He sees we are ready. Not just in our heads, but in our spirits.

Even when I was an active member of a Christian Fellowship in college I kept my faith pretty private, except with those with which I attended worship and Bible study. But lately, as I’ve reconnected with God and started a personal Bible study (though a study guide), I’ve been sharing with everyone I’ve come into contact with. I feel such joy in Him. And the peace of knowing that whatever happens will be the right thing. While this may not have been MY plan, it is His plan. And that is comforting.

Thank you, Lord, for helping me to find this peace and not worry about the results of the clomid challenge or anything that is yet to come. And thank you, LD, for helping me reconnect with Him. I think that gift is just as precious as the one you’re offering to us through carrying our child. God bless you.

W visit- Day 6

I had intended to blog each day of W’s visit, but that has proven to be impossible. Simply because there has been NO time to get on the computer until today! And the reason I can get on today is because W is taking a nap at the moment. This is the first time that he’s been napping while I was home.

I’ve been so exhausted this week. Between working all day, then coming home and taking care of W, I’m just tired. Today has been the easiest day because I got home at 1 o’clock (way earlier than usual because I had a conference that ended at 11:30) and MY aunt came over and watched W while I fell asleep on the couch. By the time I woke up, W was asleep for his nap! I could get used to this. 😉

So I’ve learned a lot from this week. First and foremost, this mommy thing is HARD! I honestly think it has a lot to do with working all day (a tiring endeavor to begin with for me), then coming home and having no down time. N has also realized how hard it is and says we will have to hire someone to help us out so that we can have time to do our own things. I’m not sure if that is accurate or not, but told him we could cross that bridge when/if we come to it.

I also learned that, other than a few incidences of not stopping him in time to save him from getting hurt, N and I are not too bad at this. W seems to be completely comfortable with me and has been since day one, even turning to me when he’s been nervous about other people who have come over. He adores N, and just looking at him can send W into a fit of giggles. It’s so funny to watch. While it was sometimes annoying that W would fuss all afternoon long, then N would come home and he’d become a completely different kid, it was still fun to watch.

Another lesson I learned is that no matter how tired or stressed I’ve gotten, when W lays his little head on my shoulder and snuggles close, it all disappears. I adore that feeling more than anything. And even though I know we’re going to have to take some time to reassess how our lives will be changed by parenthood, I’m happy to say that both N and I are still willing to go through with it.