Tearful Tuesday

I’ll start by saying it wasn’t all bad. But quite a few tears were shed today, so I thought I’d go with the alliteration.

As usual, I started my morning with Bible study. I’ve gotten into the habit of sitting in the closet to read my plans so I don’t disturb Nathan while he sleeps. He discovered me there this morning. I’m not sure what he thought. 😂

I took a few moments to check my email before waking up the kids and getting ready for CG. I don’t remember why, but I got a bit irritated and felt like I was running late by the time I went to the garage to log into the zoom workout. Then my iPad wouldn’t connect for some reason, making me even more irritated. I finally used my phone and turned off WiFi. My best guess is that the signal was not strong enough in the garage today.

I was only 20 or so minutes into the workout before I was in tears. I love working out with CG, and this trainer happens to be my best friend, but I hated having it on zoom because I was all alone, had no one to grumble to or commiserate with, and most of all I couldn’t ask for the modifications I needed due to my wrist injury. Yesterday I had tried to do everything without modifying and my wrist and elbow both hurt the rest of the day. Burpees, mountain climbers, bear crawls, shoulder taps, and pushups were all a part of today’s workout, and I just can’t do any of them. I cried because I hurt, because I’m tired of hurting, and because I felt so alone.

I made it through the workout, even through my tears. When I returned inside the house, I was immediately bombarded with questions and pleas for help. Nathan left to get groceries and gas in my car and I took care of the kids needs, ate breakfast, and checked emails once again. It wasn’t long before it was time to join a zoom meeting with the librarians from the district.

While in my meeting I started getting texts from Monkey Boy. He is a stickler for schedules and I had arbitrarily assigned recess at 10:00 last week, so he wanted to know if we were doing recess. I told him to go ahead. But he continued to text and ask what he was supposed to do. I reminded him that his teachers don’t tell him what to do at recess, but he complained that there were more options at school. Nothing I suggested was satisfactory. I turned off my video in the meeting long enough to stomp through the house and give him more time on his computer. What is it about being on the phone or in a meeting (or in the bathroom!) that makes kids suddenly need our attention right now?! This would not be the last time he did it to me today. 🙄

The rest of the meeting went fine, but it went on much longer than I expected. Nathan got home with TONS of groceries that we had to find space for, but we should be set for quite some time. His concern is that when he goes back to work it’s only a matter of time before his hospital will have to start taking COVID-19 patients. And he’s decided that if he has to take care of someone with the virus, he does not want to come back inside our house. He’s said he will be packing a bag to have in his car just in case. So he wanted to get our kitchen ready so that I won’t need to leave the house for any reason. He really doesn’t want me going to the store.

Monkey Boy had all of his work done by lunch and Squirrel Girl was not far behind. I reminded them both that last week I had assured them things would get easier when their own teachers were the ones giving them the directions instead of a district coordinator. They said their teacher made longer videos, but she explained assignments better. I was relieved to hear it.

While the kids did PE and AIM, I was busy on a project for my principal. working on that took me all the way to 4:00, so I called it quits too. Nathan and Monkey Boy played video games and Squirrel Girl read on her kindle while I got started making dinner.

Just as I was serving up dinner, Monkey Boy looked in the pantry to find where the Lucky Charms cereal he’d asked for might be. Unfortunately, the store had been out. Nathan said he got Fruit Loops instead. MB said he doesn’t like Fruit Loops. He lost it and just cried and cried. I know that to him it feels like this virus is taking everything away from him. Nothing I can say can make that feel better. We told him it was perfectly okay to be mad and upset with the situation. He went on and on about the things that he missed. Particularly his friends. So I sent a text to the parents of their core group of friends and asked for a zoom play date. Because he desperately needs to feel connected to his friends. I know he misses them so much. Hopefully they will all be able to spend at least a little virtual time together.

We were able to end the day with smiles. Nathan chose to play a game, in which Monkey Boy beat us all by a long shot (I came in last). One thing I will say about my monkey… he never tends to stay down for long.

I know we are going to have a lot of ups and downs in the coming weeks. The district has extended distance learning until at least May 1st (though most of us suspect we will not be back to school at all this school year). I pray that we all keep Ephesians 4:32 in mind.