Cat’s out of the bag

This morning on the announcements the principal mentioned my baby shower this afternoon. Which of course got a lot of the students talking. As I passed them in the hall, many of them asked “Are you having a baby?” My response was usually “I will be a mother soon, yes.” To which they ask “Is it a boy or a girl?” And I said “Both.” (this started the confused look) Next they’d ask “Well where are they?” And I said “In Oklahoma.” (this left them so confused they’re speechless and I just walked away! LOL). It was a bit awkward, but amusing too.

Then 5th grade came to the library… One student looked at me and said “You’re pregnant?” I answered an honest “No.” And she replied “Yes you are” and proceeded to pat my stomach! :-0 I removed her hand, looked her in the eye and said “I am not pregnant.” I ended up explaining to that class what was going on and that same student said “Oh! Like Baby Mama!” I rolled my eyes and said “Sort of.” I left it at that, though. Didn’t want to deal with it any more.

After school was the baby shower. I have to say, I felt royally awkward. I just don’t like being the center of attention. Everyone gathered in the computer lab, ate a cupcake and drank punch while watching me open presents, then everyone dispersed. It felt very weird. But I did get some very sweet gifts. I especially loved the hand made, personalized blankets as well as the hand made scrapbook that is just waiting for pictures to fill the beautiful personalized pages.

After the shower one of the teachers came to me and said her sons (who attend our school) were asking her about “the lady who’s taking care of Mrs. Herron’s babies.” They wanted to know if she’s a good person, if she’s taking good care of the babies, if she’s feeding them, etc. I thought that was so cute/sweet! I saw them as I walked down the hall to get my things from my office. I told them “She’s a VERY nice person and takes excellent care of the babies.” The oldest one asked “Who told you?” I said “Your mom. It’s fine. Would you like to see a picture of her?” They said yes and came with me to my office where I showed them a recent belly pic of LD. They asked a few more questions and I told them if they wanted to know anything else they were free to ask me. For some reason talking to the kids of teachers (or parents I know) doesn’t bother me. I just feel strange talking to kids who’s parents aren’t aware of the situation…

I’m sure I’ll be answering questions more in depth in the week(s) to come now that the “cat’s out of the bag” so to speak. Should be an interesting day tomorrow!

The nursery

Apparently these things don’t do themselves… You can’t just come up with a cute theme for the babies’ room and then have it magically happen overnight. Nope. You have to actually put some work into it… Who knew!

So Friday N got started on the room. He taped the edges of the room and started the first coat of paint by the time I got home from work. I helped a little with the painting and then we called it a night. Saturday my MIL came over and we got a lot of painting done. We did a little more on Sunday and now the only thing left (as far as paint goes) is some touch ups. Yesterday N started getting sick, so he didn’t get as much done as he would have liked. He did put together the crib, though. It is now sitting in our dining room. I rough-cut the fabric for the curtains and threw them in the washer. Today I need to get that fabric ironed and pinned so I can sew them. Shouldn’t take long, once I get motivated enough to get started.

It would be great if we get the room done by Saturday, but I’m nervous it won’t happen. I just want the room done enough to get all of the boxes and bags out of my living room and breakfast nook (not to mention the crib out of the dining room). Plus, we need to have time to do some actual cleaning! I don’t want my friends and coworkers to realize what slobs we really are (of course, my coworkers probably have a clue if they’ve ever looked in my office. 😉 )!

Exhausted

I got home yesterday around 6:30 or so from the TLA conference in Houston. I’d stayed a couple of extra days to see family (W is getting SOOOO big!). I picked up the dogs and came home to a very empty house. N is on his way home now, but won’t be in until midnight or so.

I was able to get a fridge delivered to our room at the Hilton. They asked if it was for medical reasons, and I said yes. Though I guess technically it was not. At any rate, there was no charge because of my answer (it would have been $25 dollars for any other reason, which I was willing to pay). I did have to dump my first evening/night’s milk, though, because the fridge didn’t get cold and it stunk. I didn’t want to chance it. The next morning I told the front desk and they brought another one. This one smelled better, but wasn’t cold either. Then I noticed there was a knob for the temp. They’d only set it at the first level. I turned it up and all was well. I wasn’t able to pump as often as I do at home, but I managed 6 times each day (normally do 8). Not too bad considering I had to ride the bus back to the hotel every time I wanted to pump.

Today I submitted my letter of resignation to my principal. I had already told her I wouldn’t be coming back and she asked me to make it official so she can start looking for my replacement. It feels very odd to have quit one job when I don’t have another lined up. Well, I guess I do… Being a mom. But I am not used to not having a paying (or grade earning) gig on the horizon.

Speaking of, I MAY have a job opportunity ahead of me after all. And I’m not talking about substituting (though that is still an option). While I was at TLA I took the time to stop by the UNT booth in the exhibit hall. I was looking to talk to my ex storytelling professor. Luckily, I was able to talk with her on Thursday. After doing a little bit of catching up I told her I was wanting to look into working as an adjunct for SLIS. She lit up and said “I’m needing someone for the fall. It’s not storytelling, it’s 5600, but it would get your foot in the door.” I pounced on it. I asked what I needed to do to apply and she said to contact her after the conference and she’d send me the links. I emailed her just a few minutes ago and hope I’ll hear from her soon. The position would be teaching online, which means I could do it from home! And it would be a guaranteed 20 hours a week. She even said we could work due dates around N’s schedule so I’d have time to do grading. 🙂 The way she talked it would be easy for me to step into this position. She even said “You would work so well with our team!” If this works out I would be SO excited. I really think it would be perfect for me. Keep your fingers crossed that it really does work out!

So much for that idea.

Every now and then it feels as if God is orchestrating things to fall exactly into place. When you feel like that, you get really comfortable. But God likes to keep you on your toes. So it’s a good idea to never get too comfy… I got reminded of that little lesson today.

Back in August I had mentioned to someone that I was interested in finding a job share position (two people sharing one position, each working part time) for the 2009-10 school year. Overhearing my comment, a librarian from another school said she too was interested in sharing next year. It was like a match made in heaven! We were both looking for the same thing, at the same time. Perfect, right? So I asked our district library coordinator about it. She said that the district would only pay for insurance for one of the two that are sharing. Small panic. Until I talked with my potential sharer, who said she is on her husband’s insurance and I could have it. Great! No problems now…

Then I get an email from the library coordinator today. Apparently, for “financial reasons” the district is no longer allowing job share positions. So we’re out of luck. And the carpet was yanked right out from under us. 😦

We’re both expecting children and want to be able to work our schedules with our husbands so that we do not have to use childcare. Just when we should be at our happiest, we’re stuck wondering if we’ll even be able to afford to keep a roof over our children… Okay, it may not be quite THAT bad (I hope), but it stinks. And I’m not sure what we’re going to do.

I’ve come up with two possible options. One is to substitute. It doesn’t get paid much, and it does not provide benefits, but if I work 90 days or more within a school year I get credit for a year in TRS. Plus, it’s very flexible and I can work around N’s schedule, whatever that might be.

The other option is to work at a book store part time. Barnes and Noble and Borders both provide benefits to part time employees. I’m not sure if they’re any good or not, of course. And I’m sure they pay didly, but at least it would be a paycheck, and I’d have the option of working weekends for more flexibility with N’s schedule.

Honestly, the substituting sounds like the better option to me, but I don’t know what N will think, or what would be best financially. We may be tightening our belts even more than we originally thought. One thing’s for sure. I’m glad N didn’t change his job status and drop insurance.

Oops I did it again…

No, I didn’t eat a pint of ice cream. But I did miss my 3 PM pump session again. 😦

I ended up having to go to see my EP at that time. I’ve been feeling somewhat lightheaded and fatigued for a few days now, but today I added feeling a LOT of PVCs (irregular heart rhythm) and shortness of breath. I couldn’t figure out which of my doctors I should call, since I was pretty sure it was being caused by either the IUD or the herbal supplements, but it was effecting my heart… I finally decided to call the EP, since they’d be able to check my ICD and tell me exactly what had been happening (if not why). Sure enough, just as I’d suspected, I’d been getting a lot more PVCs than usual. I saw the NP and he kept talking about the herbal supplements and how no one knows if it can cause palpitations. I reminded him that after getting the IUD put in I’d been bleeding heavily for two weeks now and wondered if I could be anemic. He was very wishy-washy, but finally decided to write orders for me to have my blood drawn. While he was at it, I asked if I could also have my INR checked, as I’ve been calling for more supplies for TWO MONTHS now and still haven’t gotten them. He wrote STAT on the orders, but I still won’t find out the results until tomorrow.

I also called my GYN office and left a message for the nurse briefly saying what had been going on and that I was going for blood work to see if I am anemic. The nurse called back, but I didn’t get to my phone on time, and it was after office hours so I couldn’t call her back. She left a message and said that I should call in the morning (after 9:15) and if I really thought I was anemic I should take iron pills. I actually got some yesterday and started taking them, so I’m good to go on that front.

N is very upset with the NP. He thinks he’s under reacting and should have sent me to the ER so we could have the results faster. He also thinks that my red blood cell count will be so low that they’ll want to either give me a nupagen (sp?) shot or a blood transfusion. I think N’s over reacting, but he says that if I’m short of breath, that’s not good. I agree, but I also know I notice symptoms way before most people, so I think I’m still in the “safe” zone. Hopefully I can just keep taking the iron pills and be good. If this stupid period would stop I’m sure I’d feel much better!

As if all of that wasn’t enough, I also found out this week that having me on N’s insurance is a complete waste of money. I use his as a secondary to pick up what my insurance doesn’t cover. At least, that’s the way it is supposed to work (and I swear it used to!). But apparently that is not the case now. Instead of paying for the 20% my insurance did not pay for, they applied it to “co-insurance” because they seem to have a “No Duplication Plan.” They say they won’t pay for anything until I meet maximum out of pocket. But if that’s the case, they’ll never end up paying anything at all. By the time I meet out of pocket for THEM, I’ll have met the out of pocket for MY insurance and they’ll be paying 100%. So as secondary, they get off scott free and get to collect my premiums as well! 😮 It’s just not right. So N and I have been discussing various options. Because it’s not like we can just drop me from his insurance. Oh, no. That can’t be done until “open enrollment” in October unless there’s a “change of status.” So we’re considering having N change HIS status. If he goes to PRN at work he no longer gets benefits. Which would be a change of status (and drop us both from his insurance) and I should be able to get him onto my insurance. At first we weren’t sure if that would be a good option, since it’s so expensive to put him on mine. But he would make more money as PRN (if he works the same number of hours he works now), so that would make up for it. Of course, we don’t know yet what it will cost when (if) I switch to part time (job share), so I’m going to try calling tomorrow to find out. If it still works out well, I think we’ll be going with this plan. Why, oh why, does insurance have to be such a headache?!?!

Whoops.

I just ate a pint of ice cream. Oops. Not exactly tops on the road to healthy-ville. 😛

Also, I completely missed my 3 PM pump session. I had some teachers who came to ask me questions and I didn’t finish with them until 4. By then it was time to head for home and as soon as I got there we had to take the dogs to the vet. So I went from 11 AM to 5:30 PM without pumping. My breasts were not real happy. Again, not painful so much as uncomfortable. I thought maybe it would mean I’d get more in that, but it didn’t look like it. However, I do not think that the total for the day will be much different from yesterday. I have one more pump session left (10 PM) and I’ve already got 1.75 oz. I am pretty sure I’ll have .25-.5 oz more after that.

I did not pump in the middle of the night. I thought maybe I’d do it if I woke up and thought about it. I did wake up, and I thought about it. But I was too tired to actually do it. I let the dogs out, then feel asleep on the couch until they woke me up again to let them in. If I could pump laying down, I’d be all over that! LOL

I’ve also noticed that for awhile now it hasn’t been really necessary to use the lanolin ointment as much. I guess my nipples are getting used to this rough treatment.

Someone asked me today how I manage to pump at work. Well, fortunately I have a relatively private office with a lock on the door. There is a doorway between my office and the one next to mine. So I put up a curtain for some more privacy. I pump as soon as I get to work (well before school starts, and before I am required to be at school), at lunch (I no longer eat in the lounge, I eat at my desk), and after school lets out. Most of the time, it works great.

Yesterday coworker (who knows what I’m doing behind closed doors) warned me that two other teachers were asking her “What’s up with that curtain she put up in her office?” That coworker told them “You’d have to ask her about that.” Well, today one of them stopped me just as I was about to close my door (with the “do not disturb” sign on it) to go pump. She asked “So what’s the curtain for?” My reply: “It’s for privacy.” I could see she really wanted to say something else. She opened her mouth, then shut it again. It’s not that I necessarily feel like hiding what I’m doing, but there were students standing right near us, and frankly it’s none of her business…

And the recap:

• Pumped 6 times (5 AM, 7 AM, 11 AM, 5:30 PM, 8 PM, 10 PM)
• Took More Milk Plus and Goat’s Rue 3 times (I forgot to bring my lunch time dose to work).
• Ate Oatmeal.
• Drank 2 cups of Mother’s Milk tea.

Answered prayer

So yesterday was discouraging and I prayed for some encouragement that I’m doing the right thing. I pumped at 1 AM, and got nothing. I pumped again at 5 AM and 7 AM, and still nothing.

Then a coworker of mine came to me with a present. She and I had talked yesterday about my pumping and I told her I had read that having something that smells like a baby can help with bringing in milk. This morning she brought me a onesie that her infant daughter wore yesterday! I was absolutely floored by this thoughtful gift. For someone to be so supportive of what I’m trying to do is very humbling.

Of course, I tried it at my 10:30 AM pumping. And got more (and bigger) drops than I’d ever gotten before! I immediately went to my coworker and gave her a huge hug and thank you for her help. God knew what He was doing. It was just the encouragement I needed. I actually started looking forward to the next pumping session to see if the onesie would work again.

I pumped again at 3 PM (I didn’t like having such a large gap between pumpings, but classes got in the way). Again, I got larger drops than before. But I also got a tiny spot of blood from my right nipple as well. Ouch! I’d already decided I needed to go get some lanolin for my nipples, and that made me doubly sure.

So after work I went and got lanolin, breast pads, sanitary quick wipes for cleaning the pump parts, and a package of receiving blankets. My coworker said she would use the blankets and bring them to me so her little girl can continue to help my milk come in (I was so touched when she said that some day, when her daughter can understand it, she plans to tell her the part she played in helping me!).

When I pumped at 5:30 PM I used the onesie again and I got even more! As a matter of fact, I even got some drops to go into the collection bottle! Granted, I still couldn’t really collect it, but it was WAY more than before.

On the way home from dinner my right nipple started to tingle/itch/hurt. I think it’s gotten pretty chapped. I’ve used the lanolin, which I think has started to help, but that nipple still looks pretty raw. I went ahead and pumped again at 9:00 and there was even more! The drops came almost immediately after starting the pump and there was enough in the bottle that I could shake it around in the bottom. I decided to try and see how much it was by collecting it in a syringe. The total from both breasts was .2 ml. Not a lot, but certainly more than I’ve gotten so far!

I want to save what I’m getting (now that there’s enough to actually collect), but I read that breastmilk can only be stored for 3 months in the regular freezer (we don’t have a deep freeze). So by the time the babies would be here the milk (colostrum) would be bad. 😦 I put the syringe into the freezer anyway, but I don’t know what the point is. I don’t want it to go to waste, but I don’t want them to be here in less than 3 months either. I guess I’ll save the colostrum and then decide later what to do with the milk as it comes in. (what a wonderful problem to have!)

Oh, yeah. I also made my appointment today to get an IUD put in. I will be having that procedure done on Monday at 4:30.

So to summarize:

• pumped at 1 AM, 5 AM, 10:30 AM, 3:00 PM, 5:30 PM, 9:00 PM, and 11:00 PM (only seven times today. Oops. Gonna have to work on that.)
• Took More Milk Plus and Goat’s Rue 1 cap each 4 times daily.
• Drank Mother’s Milk Tea (2 cups) this morning.
• Was able to get small amounts of colostrum! Much more than the previous days of pumping.

Getting Pumped

Today was the first day of pumping at work. Can’t say it was fun, but at least I managed to do it. Well, mostly. I was so nervous that I’d get interrupted that I was constantly looking over my shoulder. I did, however, manage to do some work while I pumped. Of course, I don’t think I got a single drop all day. Probably because I was so distracted.

I really hope it will get easier. I’m not sure why I was so worried. I mean, most people at work already know what’s going on, and I put a sign on my door saying “Please Do Not Disturb.” I even put up a curtain between my office and the one next to mine (we are connected by a doorway). And I was working on a sound recording, so if someone who didn’t know what was going on asked, I could have said the sign was so no one interrupted my sound recording.

I have had a lot of support coming from people all around me (I cannot say how much having N’s support has meant to me!). I guess I didn’t quite expect that. I kept thinking people would tell me I was crazy for even trying. And sometimes I wonder if I am. But I really do want to try, and pray that God will give me strength through this. I know it will be tough, but I’m hoping it will be worth it in the end.

So to keep track of what I did today:

• Pumped at 1 AM, 5 AM, 8 AM, 11 AM, 2 PM, 5 PM, 7 PM, and 10 PM. That’s 8 times in 24 hours.
• Took More Milk Plus and Goat’s Rue, 1 cap each, 4 times.
• Drank 4 cups of Mother’s Milk Tea.

I still haven’t gotten anything more than a drop or two, and those drops don’t even drip off the nipple and into the pump. I know I need to be patient, but it’s SO hard. I know it’s only been a couple of days, and without the domperidone it may take a little extra time to get things to progress. I just know that as soon as I start getting some significant drops (and more consistent) it will be easier to be optimistic. In the mean time, I’ll continue to pray, and ask for yours.

Lactation appointment

Okay, so I told you all earlier this week that I had scheduled an appointment with my OB/GYN to discuss inducing lactation. I was hoping that she would tell me my GP was overly paranoid and that domperidone would be safe for me to take. However, that did not happen. 😦

However, she did not just brush me off like my GP did. She continued to look at other possibilities/protocols. She looked at Reglan, but dismissed that as well (I wouldn’t have wanted to take it anyway). She and her nurse looked and looked. I was actually there for two hours! Finally she recommended this:

I am on a drug called digoxin for my heart. Apparently it can sometimes have the side effect of causing women to lactate (this may explain the small amounts I’ve been known to get, and the strange reaction my breasts had to my nephew when he was a newborn). So she recommended following the Lenore protocol, just without the dom, hoping that the digoxin will sort of take its place. So once I finish my BCP pack (which is Saturday), I’m to start pumping every 3 hours along with starting Blessed Thistle and Fenugreek and eating oatmeal at least 3 times a week.

Looks like I’ll be going this weekend to shop for a pump! I mentioned renting a hospital grade, but the nurse said that the ones you buy now are pretty much the same as the hospital grade. Anyone know if this is true? Should I forgo the hospital grade and just get a good personal pump, or would it be better to start with the hospital grade?

Anyway, so it looks like I’m going to become Elsie pretty soon. I’ve been planning in my head when I’ll be able to fit in the pumpings at work. It’s going to be tight, but I think I might just manage it! Thank goodness we finally got curtains on the window to my office! LOL

Also, LD had an appointment today at the chiropractor. She said it was wonderful and that he is confident he can help make sure Baby A is head down. Yea! 🙂

Checking in…

It’s been almost a week since my last post, so I figured I ought to check in. Especially after all of the comments people made at work about me not posting over Thanksgiving! 😉

This past week was Book Fair at school, so I’ve come home exhausted every day. Last night I started to fall asleep on the couch around 8 o’clock, so I went to bed at 8:30 (takes awhile to go through my night time ritual). I slept until 7:30! 😮 I got 11 hours of sleep!

Today is a busy day too. I’m meeting coworkers for our Pay It Forward plan (long story) at 10, then we are going to visit friends that we haven’t seen in 7 years at 5. At least tomorrow is pretty unplanned (though we are hoping to see my BIL play hockey tomorrow night).

Anyway, there’s not much new to report about the babies. LD took her last shot of PIO on Thursday, which made for a wonderful birthday present (her birthday was yesterday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LD!!!). We don’t have another appointment until 12/16. I know we’re all anxious to see the babies again.

My aide at school has apparently been telling everyone about the twins. I had a parent say something to me about the twins and I said “How did you find out about that?” She said “Your aide told me. She’s very excited.” Nervously I asked “You do know I’m not pregnant, right?” She did. Whew! I don’t know why, but I’m very nervous about parent reactions. I haven’t had any negative reactions from anyone I know so far, but I’m worried that once kids start finding out and talking about it at home there might be some negativity from people who just don’t understand. I’m probably overreacting, but what you say to students is not always what makes it home to parents, you know. Who knows what they’ll say! I’ve been avoiding talking about it with any students, but I’m sure I won’t be able to hide it from them for long!

As for my surgery, I still don’t know anything. I’m still waiting to hear when and where it will be. I thought that Monday would be my last day of IV antibiotics, but when I went to see the Dr. on Thursday and told him I’d be having another surgery before the end of the month he said he might keep me on them until after that just to reduce the risk of infection setting in again. While I’m happy to take the precaution, I’m really ready to take a shower without my arm wrapped in plastic! 😉 Of course, the other advantage to keeping the PICC line in would be that they wouldn’t have to poke me again at the hospital. They can use the PICC line for both IV and blood draws! I sure like that idea. 😀