I would be remiss if I did not mention this here, on my “Heart Journey” blog… Tomorrow I am going in to see my cardiologist. Nothing serious, I don’t think. I’ve just been feeling very short of breath lately, and have even started to cough, especially at night or when I lie down. As N said last night, sounds like possible CHF. 😦

The problem I am having is not knowing what issues are heart related and which are mom-of-twins related. I’ve not felt truly “good” since that atrial lead broke September of 2008. It’s frustrating to say the least. I need energy to keep up with the twins, but I don’t know if I’m ever going to get any back.

N’s grandmother was saying to me today that she doesn’t know how in the world I do it (take care of the twins) every day. The simple answer is, I just do what has to be done because there’s no one else to do it. Yes, carrying them from room to room leaves me panting sometimes. But it’s short lived and I can deal with it if need be. I’ve gotten to where 9 times out of 10 I’ll just bring a diaper into the living room and change them on the floor rather than taking them to the changing table in their room. This is for two reasons. One, I don’t have to pick them up, and two, I don’t have to worry about the other one getting into trouble while I’m gone.

The hardest is first thing in the morning and at the end of the day. Generally this is because I have to change their diapers and clothes. It’s a struggle these days because they always want to turn over and I have to find ways to distract them. By the time I’m done fighting them into their clothes or PJs I’m exhausted. And God forbid it be Bath Day! I only bathe them on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday because that way I know N will be home to help. But I do all of their baths, which includes taking off their clothes, carrying them to the bathroom, washing them, drying them off, carrying them back to the room to put on a diaper and clothes… And then I have to do it all again with the other one. I guess I could just wash one per day, but then I’d be bathing someone every day and that doesn’t sound fun either. N has only bathed them a handful of times because of his back. Not sure how his back would react now, though. He still has issues with it on his days off.

Gosh, here we are as parents and suddenly we’re falling apart! N with is back and me with my heart. You’d think we were way older than we are…

Anyway, I don’t know that we’ll know anything tomorrow, but I’ll try to update when I get back. I’ll be taking the twins with me (they won’t let me in the door without them), so I’ll at least have that story to tell, if nothing else. 😉

1 Comment

Filed under babies, doctor's appts., heart, husband, Parenting

One response to “Heart

  1. Cathy Manor

    Bumped back up higher on the prayer list.
    Good luck with the dr. trip.
    Love the new food techniques!

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