My mom. :(

First of all, I’m home. Nothing exciting to report. The hospital trip was a waste of time. All the doctors accomplished was to dump my INR into the toilet so now I have to give myself shots in the tummy twice a day. @@

Anyway, that’s not why I’m writing. It’s my mom. She’s not doing so well. šŸ˜¦ I won’t go into details because I know she wouldn’t want me to, but suffice it to say she’s not progressing as we’d hoped. And she’s refusing to get out of bed, even though the doctors are telling her it’s the best way to start healing. She has an NG tube in, isn’t allowed to eat, has crazy diarrhea, and sounds very down. The doctor said he would try to have her out of the hospital by Christmas, but couldn’t make any promises. At the rate she’s going, I would not be surprised if she is not out by then. And regardless, she’s made the decision to not come up for Christmas. And so has my sister (which I totally support, but it still sucks). Not one member of my immediate family will be here for Christmas (Brother and SIL were already not coming because of his work schedule). It sucks. I know we can celebrate any time of year and it’s not about the day but being with family, but I still hate it. And everyone keeps telling me all this stuff about how it’s no big deal, but not one person seems to really understand how upsetting this is to me. It’s my mom. She’s always taken care of me. And not once have I spent Christmas away from her.

I don’t think I can attend my extended family’s celebrations without crying. But I don’t want to disappoint them either. I think we may spend Christmas Eve with them, then go to MIL’s on Christmas Day. And I’ll probably try to go down to see my mom as soon after Christmas as I can. Also, N and I are going to try to go see her this weekend. We’d go sooner, but I don’t want him to miss any more PT (he’s missed twice because of me). I just want to see my mom. šŸ˜¦

Please pray for her. She could use a lot of them.



Filed under doctor's appts., emotions, Faith, family, stress

2 responses to “My mom. :(

  1. Lori Shugart

    If people don’t understand, then they have never been without their mom. I do understand- totally! Last year was my family’s first year without our mom. We still had Christmas together yes but it was different without her presence and her making sure all of our needs were being met- the love only a mom can give. My situation is different from yours of course in that you will see your mom just not that day. But Christmas means love to me and a big part of that love is being with family the family that we have grown up with as well as extended family . Christmas is just a day but we want it to be as special a day as it can be! I am sorry that your immediate family can’t be with you but do enjoy your own special family and your in-laws and extended family. Anyway, my mom will have been gone two years in February so this year is easier but we will still miss her! Honestly, I didn’t mean to ramble on and hope I didn’t depress you more talking about loss. Your mom is in my prayers and I hope that she can get the strength to get up and start moving around soon so she can start healing.

    • heartjourney

      Thanks, Lori. I think the ones that don’t “get it” are the ones that don’t always see their moms on holidays for various reasons. But you and I are Mama’s girls. We aren’t used to our moms not being there when we need them. And it’s a very hard thing to get through. You and your family are, as always, in my prayers as well. Thanks for your comments.

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