I was wrong.

I realized this morning that I miscalculated. I was thinking “three days” when I said I’d be in the hospital Sept. 1-3. Then I realized that 72 hours would actually require me to stay one more night. Looks like I’ll be in Sept. 1-4. Blech!

And just so everyone knows, I’m perfectly aware that I need to do this so I can be as healthy as possible to take care of my babies. I wouldn’t have gone ahead and set it up if I didn’t know this. But just because I know it doesn’t mean I can’t be mad/sad about it. I don’t like that my heart is getting in the way of my taking care of my babies. It has always been one of my fears that I’m not fit to take care of children and I was unfair for wanting to try. The fact that I’m having problems so soon after their birth scares me. I want to be here for a very long time so I can watch them grow up. I will do everything in my power to make sure I am. But again, that doesn’t mean I have to be happy about it. 😦



Filed under babies, doctor's appts., heart, Parenting, stress

2 responses to “I was wrong.

  1. Kristin

    I’m sorry to hear about the cardio trouble. I keep waiting for my luck to run out on my heart problems. I’ll keep you and your family in my thoughts!

  2. LaDonna

    Niki, you have every right to be mad and sad and anything else you want to feel about it. Honestly, I don’t think it’s fair someone as wonderful as you has to go through this time and time again (not that it’s fair ANYONE should have to go through it). I know you will do what needs to be done so you can be here with your babies. I don’t carry for just anyone, ya know. You were a mother before your babies were even conceived and it was obvious how much you wanted them. That is why I wanted to help you. I have never doubted once that you wouldn’t do whatever it takes to be the best mom you can be. I love ya, girl, and you’re in my prayers, as always!

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