I’m sure it’s been pretty obvious over the last month or so that I’ve been fairly hormonal/depressed/moody whatever you want to call it. It’s a wonder N put up with me as long as he did (he did finally snap back at me last week, but I can’t really blame him). I was beginning to wonder if it was the pumping that was making me such a mess. I’m happy to report, that must not be it! Because I’m finally feeling back to my normal self and seeing things in a much more positive light.

The real turning point was Wednesday. I’m not sure if it was seeing the babies, finally finishing my period after having the IUD removed, or a combination of the two that flipped the switch, but I’ll take it. I’m able to smile again and haven’t had even one crying jag since then. Believe it or not, that’s a bit accomplishment.

Thursday and Friday I got to show off the ultrasound pictures at work and break the news to everyone that we were no longer having two girls, but instead one of each. The squealing that went on in that building was deafening! LOL. Also, I finally talked to a student about the babies. It was a teacher’s kid, so I wasn’t quite as concerned about talking to her. She came in and saw the babies’ pictures and said “Wow! You’re having two?” I said “Yes. But they’re not in my tummy. They’re in Oklahoma.” She asked “Are they already borned?” I told her, “No, I have a friend who is keeping them in her tummy.” She looked at me a little funny so I said “Remember how I told you about my heart? Well, my heart can’t take care of a baby inside of me. So my friend is taking care of them until I can.” Her response was “That’s very nice of her.” Yes. Yes, it is!

Yesterday I decided I was tired of my hair being so “blah” so I went in and got it all chopped off. I told the girl “chin length” and I guess it is when it’s wet and/or flat. But as soon as it dries, it’s more like “earlobe length.” It’s okay. I’ll get used to it I’m sure. But for now I’m not really “wowed” by it. However, I went to a gathering with coworkers that evening, and everyone else seemed impressed. Hopefully it will grow on me. N didn’t comment when he got home last night and when I asked him about it he said “I’m trying to figure out if I like it.” Guess we’ll both have to get used to it. 😉

Today I went to visit with my dad before heading over to Ft. Worth to visit a friend and her surrogate who just delivered her son. I got to show Dad the all of the pictures from the ultrasound as well as the DVD. It was nice spending some time with him and I really ought to do it more often, considering he’s not THAT far from me (okay, about 45 minutes, but that’s only 15 more minutes than what I drive to work every day). He’ll be coming over next Saturday to visit when my sister comes up for the shower. She’s going to leave my nephew with me while she and my mom go to my aunt’s house to get things ready for the shower and Dad will come play with W for awhile. Then my sister will come back so we can all go to dinner and then take W back to my aunt’s with her. It is going to be strange not having any of my family staying with me while they are in town.

After visiting with my dad, I went to visit with my friends. I was a little nervous at first, since I’ve only met each of them in person once, but after a little while I relaxed and was SO glad I went. And I think being around a baby might have even increased how much milk I’ll get today. Not 100% sure yet, but we’ll see tonight!

I found it interesting watching the interactions between C and M. C (the mom) had tried to induce lactation but is apparently having some trouble. M (the surrogate) will be pumping once they leave the hospital and go back home. But in the mean time, M has been nursing the baby. I have always said I think I’d be way too jealous of another woman nursing my baby (though LD has said she will if I want her to). But C handed him over without so much as a blink. Why do I feel guilty for feeling like I would be unable to do the same?

Lots of stuff going on. Time seems to be just speeding by and it’s amazing to realize we have less than 100 days (most likely) before we will meet our babies. Part of me can’t wait, and part of me wants things to slow down a little so I can catch up and get ready! LOL


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Filed under babies, emotions, hormones, husband, lactation, planning

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