Why can’t I catch a freakin’ break?!
As you know, I’m back in the hospital due to a possible infection. Yesterday the infectious disease doc said I’d get to go home today, he just needed to figure out if I’d be going home on oral or IV antibiotics…
However, I had been having some more “twitching” (diaphragmatic pacing) off and on and last night it was at it’s worst (I got very little sleep because of it). I have reminded the docs and nurses all weekend that it needed to be checked, but nothing was done. Until I reminded the PA who was about to look into discharging me. They sent a Medtronics rep to my room and low and behold, there is no setting he can put me on that will keep that darn twitching at bay! So once again they’ve turned that lead off, sent me down to x-ray, and now I’m waiting to find out the verdict.
I’m on the edge here, folks, of what I can handle. I’m trying my hardest to have faith that God will see me through yet another hurdle, but I’m just SO tired of this! After the surgery last week (yes, exactly one week ago today) the doc said that if the lead didn’t stay in place this time, we have no other options and we’ll have to do epicardial lead placement, which requires a surgeon and he doesn’t feel any of his guys can do it, so I’d have to go to Children’s here in Dallas, Texas Children’s in Houston, Cook Children’s in Ft. Worth, or back to the Mayo Clinic.
I’m trying to stay positive and not think the worst, but it’s darn hard right now. And to top it off, I sent N to work today because I figured I’d be going home and we don’t need to lose out on any more of his paycheck, since we’re now losing out on mine (all out of sick days). So I’m sitting here all by myself, near tears, but trying REALLY hard to hold it in.