Good sign or bad?

I’ve heard that some women can feel when they are ovulating. When I was on progesterone-only pills several years ago I had an uncomfortable, gassy feeling a few times before it dawned on me that it was occurring about the same time each month. By then the realization was too late, as I’d ended up in the ER with an ovarian cyst that had burst and was bleeding (and bleeding…) into my abdomen.

So when I started getting that tight, crampy feeling in my lower abdomen, directly on top of my right ovary, I started to get slightly worried and slightly excited. On the one hand, the most recent experience I’ve had with my ovaries actually ovulating resulted in a nightmare I do not wish to repeat. Therefore, I am worried that I may end up in that boat once again. On the other hand, if this feeling really and truly IS that of ovulation, it could mean that my ovaries are actually in working order and I have nothing to worry about as far as the testing for our cycle goes.

I had worried that it may take months for the BCP to get out of my system and therefore I would not get to start my testing, which would put off the testing for N and LD, which would put off the cycle, which would put off getting to be a mommy… BUT, if this is ovulation (and I’m fairly certain it is), then the calendar I looked at online shows that I should get my next period at my normal time (“normal” with BCP). I’m hoping that’s the case.

However, that’s not going to stop me from worrying over the next couple of days about whether or not this is going to turn into the nightmare from 2003! Any prayers you can spare would be appreciated…

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Filed under emotions, hope, hormones, progress, waiting

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