RE Consult

As you all know, we went to our consultation appt. with Dr. C today. I’m not sure how to feel at this point… For now, we’re in the wait-and-see mode. He did an ultrasound on my ovaries to see if they looked good and decided that they did not. BUT it may just be due to the fact that I have been on BCP for so many years. I now have to stop my BCP and wait for a “natural” cycle, then we’ll do a repeat ultrasound and clomid challenge to determine whether or not my ovaries will produce a decent number of eggs… I can’t say I’m not extremely disappointed. I was hoping for “easy” but I have to remind myself that I NEVER do anything the easy way!

At first I thought I was only worried about the possibility that I might have lousy ovaries (he said it was possible that my numerous surgeries or birth defects could be a contributing factor). But as I was talking to LD I realized I’m also freaked out about the idea of being off BCP, for several reasons. First, because I absolutely do NOT want to get pregnant. Of course, if N and I get frisky, we’ll use other methods of birth control, but it’s still a scary possibility. But even more scary than that is the thought that I might have a repeat of my 2003 episode with an ovarian cyst that burst and caused MAJOR internal bleeding… THAT scares me more than anything. I do not want to go through that again. It was worse, even, than any of my heart surgeries (other than the one that got infected in 2005)! The third reason I’m worried is because I suffer from migraines. We tried LOTS of different BCPs until we found one on which I had very few (one time I had 5 within a month… And the month was February!). I’m not looking forward to that possibility either…

Okay, so other than that “little” thing, everything went okay. N thinks I was too aggressive and may have put Dr. C off… He may be right. He was explaining some things to me and I’d stop and ask him “but what about…?” I think I threw him off a few times. Especially when he said “we usually transfer only 1 or 2…” and I brought up M. He started blustering and said “In hind site, that was a mistake…” I tried to tell him I was just teasing, but I think it may have put him on the defensive… At least, that’s what N thinks. Neither of us were as impressed with him as we thought we would be, but so many people built him up in our heads I guess we were expecting something more… Not sure what. He wasn’t bad, just not what we expected… N thinks that’s because of me and my big mouth… Who knows. Maybe it’s just because it was the first time we met.

At any rate, that’s all I know for now. I figure we’ll wait to do LD’s testing until we’ve found out if I have anything to work with. Dr. C did say that N would have to “donate” his “guys” in advance and have them frozen. He said that LD could sign a waiver as far as the 6 months go, but did not indicate that we would use fresh sperm either way. So Nathan figures he’ll wait until my visit for the clomid challenge and then do the “FDA visit” (as Dr. C put it). I hate this whole hurry up and wait game… But I realize it’s part and parcel with this whole thing.

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Filed under doctor's appts., emotions, husband, progress, stress, waiting

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