Interesting conversations

I have had two conversations with two different coworkers this week relating to surrogacy. In the first one I was talking to a 5th grade teacher about the quilt I made for my nephew and the conversation steered around to me wanting kids some day. She knows about my heart, so she asked “Do you plan to adopt some day?” I told her, “Actually, we’re looking at surrogacy.” She seemed very interested and started asking questions. Not once did she say any of the awful remarks many people give regarding surrogacy (ie: “Oh, I could never do that.” or “Aren’t you afraid they’ll want to keep the baby?”). She was very supportive and even said she had considered carrying for her sister back when she was trying unsuccessfully to have kids.

The second conversation was with a teacher who has been struggling with infertility for the last two years. She and I had actually talked at the beginning of the year because she has been using an RE, done IUI twice, and now is going to do IFV in January. Most of the conversations we’ve had were started by me. But today she stopped me and said “I’ve been meaning to ask you what’s going on with your surrogacy.” I told her that I’m just hanging in there until January, when N has said we can “revisit” the subject, but I’m hoping we can try a cycle next summer. We talked about how frustrating it is that we have to plan, save, and pray to have a kid when others can just “see what happens” and how frustrating that is. She said that if they try IVF 3 times and it fails they will move to adoption. She seemed fairly confident that things will work out. She said, “I just want a baby by next Christmas.” She said “And you might too!” I said, “Well, probably not by Christmas, but at least by the end of next school year…

Anyway, I thought it was interesting. I also got to wondering what I would say to coworkers if/when we get a GS pregnant. Obviously other people make an announcement when they discover they are pregnant (or at some point in the pregnancy). Wonder what I’ll do. I’ll probably tell. I tend to be a talker. Nothing’s a secret. We have a baby shower next week for our 3rd pregnant teacher. I wonder if I’ll get to have a baby shower…


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