09.06.09
When it rains…
Well, it’s certainly been pouring around here. And I’m not just referring to the storm on Thursday night.
*****Warning- may contain “TMI” for those with sensitive stomachs.*******
Tuesday, after I’d been admitted to the hospital, N was finally able to have a bowl movement (he’d been constipated from the pain meds) and it was black and tarry. A sure sign of a GI bleed. Not only that, but his back, which seemed to be getting better, started feeling worse.
So on Wednesday morning he had his mother come over to watch the twinfants while he went to the doctor. He mentioned the stool and they drew some blood, but had to send it out to be tested. That night, he coughed until he threw up, and that too showed signs of blood. The next morning he called to tell me (yes, he waited until morning to tell me).
He couldn’t decide if he should try to get in with the GI doc the GP had recommended or go to the ER. He was afraid that the ER would make him stay overnight. He tried calling the GI doc, but the number was no longer working. By this point he had brought the twins to my hospital room and his mother had met him there. I asked him what he was going to do and he said “I’ll just wait and see if it happens again.” I was not happy with that response, but didn’t know how to make him go in. Fortunately, I didn’t have to.
He had fallen asleep on my bed when his phone rang. It was his GP’s office with his lab results. It was a fairly short conversation, but the gist of it was “Go to the ER now.” Since he was already in one hospital (a heart specialty hospital) he simply walked across the street to the main hospital and into the ER.
A friend of mine from M.O.M. was visiting at the time and she offered to stay and help with the twins so that my MIL could go with N. He argued and said he was fine on his own and wouldn’t let her come with him. She asked me what I wanted and I said I wanted someone with him. So she ate a little lunch, giving him time to get settled at the ER, then went looking for him. Again, he kicked her out. :/
At this point I’d called some other friends of mine to come help with the twins so my M.O.M. friend could get back to her twins. I got a few updates from N via text, but felt so clueless as to what was going on. I hated it. I did, however, know that they were giving him a blood transfusion and planned to admit him overnight so they could do a colonoscopy and endoscopy in the morning. My MIL volunteered to keep the twins over night. While my friends were still there, she went to the store to pick up diapers to make it through the night. At least we knew I’d be home the next day!
After everyone (including my precious babies. 
) was gone, I felt SO restless and could not concentrate on anything at all. I called my mom to let her know what was going on and she asked “What about the dogs?” OMG, I’d completely forgotten about my dogs!! 
I felt horrible! I was able to get my college roommate, who lives only 5 minutes from us, to go over to let them out and feed them. Thank goodness my mother reminded me!
I also called N’s dad, who happened to be on the way home from work. He said he would go home to change, then head over to see N. Soon after I got a text from N saying they decided to do the endoscopy that night instead of in the morning and wanting to know if there was anyone still with me who could come get his backpack. There wasn’t, so I said I’d find someone. I didn’t think his dad would be there soon enough (turned out he was), so I called his aunt, hoping she would be close by (she works close to the hospital and passes it on the way home. Low and behold, she was on her way home and only had to take a slight detour to get to N quickly. She and N’s dad waited while they did the procedure and kept me updated, which I appreciated very much.
It turns out N has 3 ulcers, a hiatal hernia, and esopogitis. Dang! He was moved into a room where they gave him his second unit of blood. I felt so trapped in my hospital room. I wanted so much to be there for him, not to mention feeling overwhelmed at the circumstances surrounding the twins’ first night away from both of us. It’s a wonder I slept at all.
But I did. And I woke up to the sound of my phone notifying me of a text (well, I woke several other times, too, due to the usual hospital interruptions). It was N, saying “We could totally chat on Facepages!” lol So I got on my computer so we could talk to each other. Not sure why we didn’t just use the phone, but it was good to converse with him anyway.
My nurse (I had the same one all 4 days!) knew what was going on, so she brought me my final dose of tikosyn early so that she could do the EKG and get me discharged as quickly as possible. I don’t think I’ve ever had a discharge go that quickly! God bless her! She even walked me over to the main hospital via skybridge. Oddly enough, we ran into my EP on the way! When he heard what was going on he rolled his eyes and said, “Well, the good news is, you stayed in sinus rhythm through all that!” :/ He walked most of the way with us then went wherever he’d been headed.
I got to N’s room by 9:30 AM. His mom brought the twins and we all waited to find out what was going to happen. Poor N hadn’t had anything to eat since the morning before because he had been NPO for the endoscopy, they lifted it in the middle of the night, but then reinstated it before he could have breakfast because his blood levels were lower than they liked. The GI doc finally came by around noon and said as far as he was concerned, N was clear to go home that day, but it was up to his admitting doc. She came by a little later and said she wanted two more lab draws before sending him home, but did allow him to eat.
We decided I would go home with the twins and come back to get him (or his mom would) if he was released. Turns out, he was not. His blood was not where she wanted it to be, so the doc kept him one more night. I was so ready for the whole family to sleep under our own roof again!
The next morning N called to say he’d been released. He said the doc didn’t really want to, but knew he was a nurse and knew what to watch for. N’s mom picked him up and brought him home. He has to go in for a repeat endoscopy in a few weeks to check on his esophogitis and he has an appointment with a back specialist on Tuesday. Today we are all taking it easy. It’s been a really long week! I’m ready to get off this soap opera!!!
08.31.09
Dagnabbit!
I knew I shouldn’t have posted yesterday! Darn Murphy and his laws! Just when I think I’m getting out of going to the hospital, the rug is pulled out from under me. Humph! So the two EPs finally talked. I will not be going on the Sotalol, but I also won’t be going on the Multaq either. Instead I’ll be going on Tikosyn, which requires 72 hours in the hospital, just like the Sotalol. Boo hiss!
08.13.09
Blech! Heart stuff.
Of course, my heart always picks the most inconvenient times to act up.
Those who have been following along know that right as I was getting ready to start fertility drugs to harvest my eggs for our surrogacy journey my atrial lead broke. I was still able to do the egg retrieval, but then I had to have my LV lead repositioned right about when we had our first ultrasound scheduled. Then it didn’t work (the LV lead) and I had to go in again right at Christmas to get the lead placed epicardially. With it finally working I thought I’d get back to feeling as good as I did before the first lead broke. No such luck. After trying and trying for months to figure out why I still feel like crap we finally have answers. Apparently I’m having a lot of atrial disturbances that are not picked up by my ICD. So my EP wants to start me on a new med.
Sounds easy enough, right? Wrong. I have to be admitted into the hospital for 72 hours for observation while it’s being started. But I have 2 month old twins now. How am I supposed to be away from them for 72 hours?? I can’t stand the thought of being away for 4 hours, how am I going to do this?! My mom says to look on the bright side. I might catch up on sleep. But I doubt it. Even if the nurses leave me alone, I’m sure I’ll hear the babies in my sleep and wake up looking for them. I’m going crazy just thinking about it. And of course N will have to take care of the twins and won’t be able to be with me. He said he’ll only bring them up for short visits because he doesn’t want to disturb the other patients. I understand it, but I don’t like it.
I’m scheduled to go in Sept. 1-3. My cardiologist is presenting my case to a team of doctors on Monday. I’m hoping one of them gives a solution that doesn’t require hospital time.
05.06.09
Not worried, but prayers wouldn’t hurt
LD is on her way to L&D. She’s been having a lot of B/H today, which seems odd given she’s been taking the terbutaline. She asked me what I wanted her to do and I said “Have you called Dr. K?” She said “Duh. I didn’t think of that.” So she put in a call, and of course, he recommended that she come in to be checked. N said she’s just bored now that school is out and needed a little excitement. 
We’re all pretty sure it is no big deal (though the panic in N’s voice when he heard it was me on the line was interesting), but would rather err on the side of caution. We will be 32 weeks tomorrow, so we’d really like for Kyla and Lucas to stay snuggled in for a few more weeks. Prayers in that direction would be much appreciated.
Guess I’ll go do some dishes to keep myself distracted. That way if we are heading out today my MIL (who will come to take care of the dogs) won’t be coming into a completely filthy house!
02.20.09
If it’s not one thing…
it’s another.
Monday I went to my GYN and all seemed well. I had stopped (or for the most part stopped) bleeding and the IUD looked to still be in place. She had no explanation for the PVCs, so she suggested stopping the herbs, in case they were the cause. She was amazed at the quantity of milk I’m already making and thinks it’s reasonable to assume I will be okay without the herbs. So far my PVCs seem to have slowed down (but get a bit worse in the evening) and my milk production has plateaued. It hasn’t gone up, but at least it hasn’t gone down either. Not sure if it is because I stopped the herbs or if it’s just a coincidence.
She wanted to have me come in for a sonogram to check the IUD placement and I set that up for Thursday. Yesterday. That’s when the bomb fell. The IUD had slipped out of position. My body is trying to expel it! So it needs to be removed. But she didn’t want to do that until she talked to the manufacturer to see if they would pay for a replacement. I found out this afternoon that they will, so I’ve been scheduled to get this one removed and the new one put in on Friday afternoon at 4:45. Please pray for me at that time. Because the first time was horrible, but at least I didn’t know what was to come. This time I do. And I’m afraid it may make it worse!
I really wish my body would just be semi-normal. What should have been an easy fix to the “don’t get pregnant” dilemma, has turned into a nightmare. 
(or at least a very bad dream) I’m always trying to find the lesson I’m supposed to learn or the purpose behind the events of my life. At the moment, I’m having a hard time finding one. I know it’s there… But it may take a bit to find it.
02.14.09
“Let down” and other things
No, no one let me down. I’m referring to the phenomenon of a woman’s milk “letting down” in order for it to flow more freely. From what I read, people feel a sort of “swoosh” when this happens… I’ve never felt it. I don’t know if it’s because I don’t have much TO “swoosh” or if I’m just weird. Either way, I’m disappointed that I don’t feel it. Maybe I will eventually. At any rate, I’m continuing to get a little more milk each day. Yesterday I got 2.75 oz. So far I seem to get about .25 oz more a day, even if I don’t get all of my pump sessions in. Makes me wonder if I should add the night pump back in. I’m glad I’ve had a steady increase, as it has helped keep me encouraged to continue.
As for the heart stuff… My blood came back completely normal. No anemia. So now I have NO clue what could be causing the PVCs. The NP had me increase my torpol from 75 mg once a day to 50 mg twice a day. I haven’t had any issues today, but I haven’t really done anything either. The true test will be if/when I get out and about. I doubt that will happen today. N and I decided that we’d stay home all day so we don’t have to face the crowds of Valentine’s Day.
Speaking of, N outdid himself today (yet again). He went to the grocery store yesterday and bought food for the whole day. He made breakfast, and put dinner in the slow cooker (Sketti sauce… my favorite!). He had me make lunch, but it was the least I could do. Also, this morning he had a card and gift for me. The card was a funny one (as always) about how we’re so comfortable together we can “whiz with the door open.” And then I opened the gift bag… A box of Crayolas. I smiled and said thank you. He said “Open the box.” Inside (along with the crayons) was a charm for a necklace. My smile grew even wider. It’s the shape of a box of crayons! How perfect?! LOL. I feel like a doofus, though. I had thought we were going to get recliners for each other for Valentine’s, so I didn’t even get him so much as a card. I’m a horrible wife.
I have to say this: Over the last couple of months I’ve fallen in love with my husband all over again. He has been my biggest support and has surprised me with his understanding and encouragement along the way. At times when I annoy even myself, he’s held steady. When we have conversations about the babies and what is to come, he is confident and yet understanding of my own fears. He and I seem to be so much more on the same wavelength when it comes to parenting then I ever could have hoped. My husband is going to be a GREAT dad. I have zero doubt in my mind. There may be times when I doubt my own abilities, but my confidence in him has never wavered. With him, I can do this. And I’ve got the best possible partner by my side as we enter this new chapter of our lives. I can’t wait!
BTW- We have our level 2 sonogram scheduled for March 4th. I’m so excited!!!
02.12.09
Oops I did it again…
No, I didn’t eat a pint of ice cream. But I did miss my 3 PM pump session again.
I ended up having to go to see my EP at that time. I’ve been feeling somewhat lightheaded and fatigued for a few days now, but today I added feeling a LOT of PVCs (irregular heart rhythm) and shortness of breath. I couldn’t figure out which of my doctors I should call, since I was pretty sure it was being caused by either the IUD or the herbal supplements, but it was effecting my heart… I finally decided to call the EP, since they’d be able to check my ICD and tell me exactly what had been happening (if not why). Sure enough, just as I’d suspected, I’d been getting a lot more PVCs than usual. I saw the NP and he kept talking about the herbal supplements and how no one knows if it can cause palpitations. I reminded him that after getting the IUD put in I’d been bleeding heavily for two weeks now and wondered if I could be anemic. He was very wishy-washy, but finally decided to write orders for me to have my blood drawn. While he was at it, I asked if I could also have my INR checked, as I’ve been calling for more supplies for TWO MONTHS now and still haven’t gotten them. He wrote STAT on the orders, but I still won’t find out the results until tomorrow.
I also called my GYN office and left a message for the nurse briefly saying what had been going on and that I was going for blood work to see if I am anemic. The nurse called back, but I didn’t get to my phone on time, and it was after office hours so I couldn’t call her back. She left a message and said that I should call in the morning (after 9:15) and if I really thought I was anemic I should take iron pills. I actually got some yesterday and started taking them, so I’m good to go on that front.
N is very upset with the NP. He thinks he’s under reacting and should have sent me to the ER so we could have the results faster. He also thinks that my red blood cell count will be so low that they’ll want to either give me a nupagen (sp?) shot or a blood transfusion. I think N’s over reacting, but he says that if I’m short of breath, that’s not good. I agree, but I also know I notice symptoms way before most people, so I think I’m still in the “safe” zone. Hopefully I can just keep taking the iron pills and be good. If this stupid period would stop I’m sure I’d feel much better!
As if all of that wasn’t enough, I also found out this week that having me on N’s insurance is a complete waste of money. I use his as a secondary to pick up what my insurance doesn’t cover. At least, that’s the way it is supposed to work (and I swear it used to!). But apparently that is not the case now. Instead of paying for the 20% my insurance did not pay for, they applied it to “co-insurance” because they seem to have a “No Duplication Plan.” They say they won’t pay for anything until I meet maximum out of pocket. But if that’s the case, they’ll never end up paying anything at all. By the time I meet out of pocket for THEM, I’ll have met the out of pocket for MY insurance and they’ll be paying 100%. So as secondary, they get off scott free and get to collect my premiums as well! It’s just not right. So N and I have been discussing various options. Because it’s not like we can just drop me from his insurance. Oh, no. That can’t be done until “open enrollment” in October unless there’s a “change of status.” So we’re considering having N change HIS status. If he goes to PRN at work he no longer gets benefits. Which would be a change of status (and drop us both from his insurance) and I should be able to get him onto my insurance. At first we weren’t sure if that would be a good option, since it’s so expensive to put him on mine. But he would make more money as PRN (if he works the same number of hours he works now), so that would make up for it. Of course, we don’t know yet what it will cost when (if) I switch to part time (job share), so I’m going to try calling tomorrow to find out. If it still works out well, I think we’ll be going with this plan. Why, oh why, does insurance have to be such a headache?!?!
01.25.09
I wanna see!
I am SO wishing I were in OK right now! LD called me a couple of hours ago to tell me that she saw one of the babies move! Not just felt it, but saw it! How cool is that?! For a better description, read her post on our group blog (see the link in the menu to the right).
This weekend didn’t go exactly as I’d planned. I was supposed to go to Houston to see some friends as well as my mom, sister, and nephew. But it hasn’t been all bad. Both yesterday and today my mom and I have gone “shopping” together… online! LOL. We’ve been looking at baby stuff mostly, but not just baby stuff!
Also, I got my pump and herbs and should get started on pumping in a couple of days. I kind of played with the pump today (putting it together, reading instructions, etc.) so that I won’t be completely confused on my first day to use it. It looks like it won’t be too bad. I do think I’m going to need to purchase something to hold it on so I can work on other things while I’m pumping. Otherwise, I may get behind at work!
I’ve also been working on putting together an invite list for my baby shower that my sister is wanting to throw for me. I’m not sure who to invite. If I invite everyone I want to, it would be WAY too many people. But I don’t want to exclude anyone either. LOL. I never realized I knew so many people! Plus I think N would like to be there, which means we should make it co-ed, which doubles the guest list! Hmmm… That diaper party idea is looking better and better…
It’s funny how seeing the girls look more like real people (with arms, legs, ribs, hearts, and brains!) has really helped make things seem a little more real. That and being told to go ahead with pumping. This is really and truly happening. N and I are going to be parents! 
I can’t wait to meet our kids! (Though I would like them to wait at least another 19 weeks!) Holy cow! We’re 17 weeks already!!!
01.24.09
Getting started
I just got off the phone with the LC I talked to two weeks ago. She rents hospital grade pumps and also sells the herbs. I’m going over there this afternoon to get my supplies! OMG, this is exciting! (Yes, I realize I’m a little weird )
So I’m trying to decide if I should go ahead and take my last BCP tonight (my pill pack actually lasts ’til Tuesday, but I’ve taken the last 2 months back to back with no inactive pills between) so that I can have my first day of fumbling with the pump on the weekend. Or maybe I should attempt to start Tuesday night? Or would it be a problem to wait until Friday, even though I’ll be off the BCP for a few days (I don’t have any more)? Ack! I’m going to go nuts!
01.22.09
Lactation appointment
Okay, so I told you all earlier this week that I had scheduled an appointment with my OB/GYN to discuss inducing lactation. I was hoping that she would tell me my GP was overly paranoid and that domperidone would be safe for me to take. However, that did not happen.
However, she did not just brush me off like my GP did. She continued to look at other possibilities/protocols. She looked at Reglan, but dismissed that as well (I wouldn’t have wanted to take it anyway). She and her nurse looked and looked. I was actually there for two hours! Finally she recommended this:
I am on a drug called digoxin for my heart. Apparently it can sometimes have the side effect of causing women to lactate (this may explain the small amounts I’ve been known to get, and the strange reaction my breasts had to my nephew when he was a newborn). So she recommended following the Lenore protocol, just without the dom, hoping that the digoxin will sort of take its place. So once I finish my BCP pack (which is Saturday), I’m to start pumping every 3 hours along with starting Blessed Thistle and Fenugreek and eating oatmeal at least 3 times a week.
Looks like I’ll be going this weekend to shop for a pump! I mentioned renting a hospital grade, but the nurse said that the ones you buy now are pretty much the same as the hospital grade. Anyone know if this is true? Should I forgo the hospital grade and just get a good personal pump, or would it be better to start with the hospital grade?
Anyway, so it looks like I’m going to become Elsie pretty soon. I’ve been planning in my head when I’ll be able to fit in the pumpings at work. It’s going to be tight, but I think I might just manage it! Thank goodness we finally got curtains on the window to my office! LOL
Also, LD had an appointment today at the chiropractor. She said it was wonderful and that he is confident he can help make sure Baby A is head down. Yea! 
