10.29.09
Amazement
I know it’s been a while since my last update (going out of town can do that 
) and you all want to know how N is doing, but right now I want to reflect on my amazing kids.
Every day they do something new that amazes me.
Kyla
Kyla is such a good baby. Content to play on her own, exploring toys and the world around her. She’s rarely fussy. Of course, if she’s not happy she lets you know it (at a very high volume), but most of the day is spent in contentment.
She is half way to crawling and trying SO hard to figure out how to get from point A to point B (or anywhere in between). She can get her knees up under her, but ends up face down in the ground. Or she can push up high on her hands, but her torso weighs her down. She’s even managed to get her generous belly off the ground a time or two (if only for a moment). You can see the gears working in her brain as she tries to figure out how she can get across the blanket to the toys I’ve placed there (who in her right mind would settle for the toys right in front of her?). Instead, her flailing turns her in circles and she looks completely baffled as to how she got to this new vantage point.
She’s also developed quite the fascination with her brother. When he is near she likes to grab onto his arm or shirt and chow down! I don’t know why his fingers are so much tastier than her own, but she sure seems to think they are. But considering he likes her fingers better, I guess it’s a fair trade.
Her smile is to die for. It lights up her whole face. And she’s very generous with her smiles. At least with N and me. When she sees us, her whole body seems to say “Yea! You’re here!” She sure knows how to melt our hearts. I cannot believe how much she’s learned in just the last few weeks!
Lucas
Lucas is also growing and changing. He’s gotten SO big. He is still a bit of a whiner (I’m fearing that will never change) and would much rather be held or talked to than be left to his own devices, but he’s getting better.
And boy does he love to “talk!” N and I joke that he’s going to be a food critic because after every bottle we’re treated to a “commentary” from our little babbler. He can go on and on. It’s SO cute!
He’s also working on mobility. He finally rolled from his front to his back the other day. Though it hasn’t been consistent, he has done it more than once. I think his delay in this area has been due to two things. One is his arm when he was first born. Not being able to really use that arm for the first two weeks set him back a bit. Plus, I think we held him a bit more than his sister because of it. So that leads to the second reason. He hasn’t spent as much time on his tummy as Kyla because he fusses any time he’s put down. I’m trying to remedy that. Now that he can hold his head up higher he’s not as fussy about tummy time. As long as he has someone’s attention. Of course, I have to watch that I don’t put him down too soon after a meal, or half of it ends up on the quilt!
We started putting Lucas into his exercauser when he was 3.5 months old. At that time he really didn’t have any clue how to interact with the toys and buttons surrounding him. He was content to look at them and watch us push buttons and spin things for him. But now is completely different! He can push buttons, spin the monkeys, flip pieces, and even turn himself around! I was watching him today and realizing just how far he’s come in a month.
My babies amaze me every day. They frustrate me too, of course, but every time I notice something new I think “Wow! You’re growing up so fast! Slow down!” My sister told me last week that she’d forgotten how boring babies were. Personally, I find them fascinating. But you have to take the time to pay attention to the subtle changes every day. I’m trying to savor it. I know this is my only chance. 
Okay, a brief update on N. He’s doing better, but still can’t stand for long periods or do too much. It’s hard for me to remember because he’s getting around so much better. When we got back from our trip he tried to help out by making dinner and occasionally entertaining the kids. It ended up being too much and he had to take pain meds, even though he didn’t the whole time we were gone. 
I feel bad for getting frustrated when he can’t do something to help me. We’re both having to work on our communication on this matter. I hate asking for help, and he hates not being able to give it.
As for the trip, it went well. Lucas cried from Centerville to Huntsville on the way down, but he’d been fed and changed so there wasn’t much more I could do for him. The ride back I don’t think he slept much, but he only cried about half the time. We survived, though. No twin mom would survive the day to day if she couldn’t tolerate a little crying. As long as I knew his needs were all met and he was simply crying because he wanted to be held, I pushed on. We made pretty decent time, too. And seeing my mom, sister, nephew, and BIL was nice. I’m glad we went. Unfortunately, I did not get to see my brother and SIL’s new house, as they were both sick. Hopefully next time!
Guess I should get back to the kids. Kyla has rolled herself off the quilt and is bound to spit up on the carpet if I don’t move her back. And Lucas is starting to demand some attention (I’m amazed he lasted this long!). A mother’s life is never dull!
09.06.09
When it rains…
Well, it’s certainly been pouring around here. And I’m not just referring to the storm on Thursday night.
*****Warning- may contain “TMI” for those with sensitive stomachs.*******
Tuesday, after I’d been admitted to the hospital, N was finally able to have a bowl movement (he’d been constipated from the pain meds) and it was black and tarry. A sure sign of a GI bleed. Not only that, but his back, which seemed to be getting better, started feeling worse.
So on Wednesday morning he had his mother come over to watch the twinfants while he went to the doctor. He mentioned the stool and they drew some blood, but had to send it out to be tested. That night, he coughed until he threw up, and that too showed signs of blood. The next morning he called to tell me (yes, he waited until morning to tell me).
He couldn’t decide if he should try to get in with the GI doc the GP had recommended or go to the ER. He was afraid that the ER would make him stay overnight. He tried calling the GI doc, but the number was no longer working. By this point he had brought the twins to my hospital room and his mother had met him there. I asked him what he was going to do and he said “I’ll just wait and see if it happens again.” I was not happy with that response, but didn’t know how to make him go in. Fortunately, I didn’t have to.
He had fallen asleep on my bed when his phone rang. It was his GP’s office with his lab results. It was a fairly short conversation, but the gist of it was “Go to the ER now.” Since he was already in one hospital (a heart specialty hospital) he simply walked across the street to the main hospital and into the ER.
A friend of mine from M.O.M. was visiting at the time and she offered to stay and help with the twins so that my MIL could go with N. He argued and said he was fine on his own and wouldn’t let her come with him. She asked me what I wanted and I said I wanted someone with him. So she ate a little lunch, giving him time to get settled at the ER, then went looking for him. Again, he kicked her out. :/
At this point I’d called some other friends of mine to come help with the twins so my M.O.M. friend could get back to her twins. I got a few updates from N via text, but felt so clueless as to what was going on. I hated it. I did, however, know that they were giving him a blood transfusion and planned to admit him overnight so they could do a colonoscopy and endoscopy in the morning. My MIL volunteered to keep the twins over night. While my friends were still there, she went to the store to pick up diapers to make it through the night. At least we knew I’d be home the next day!
After everyone (including my precious babies. ) was gone, I felt SO restless and could not concentrate on anything at all. I called my mom to let her know what was going on and she asked “What about the dogs?” OMG, I’d completely forgotten about my dogs!! 
I felt horrible! I was able to get my college roommate, who lives only 5 minutes from us, to go over to let them out and feed them. Thank goodness my mother reminded me!
I also called N’s dad, who happened to be on the way home from work. He said he would go home to change, then head over to see N. Soon after I got a text from N saying they decided to do the endoscopy that night instead of in the morning and wanting to know if there was anyone still with me who could come get his backpack. There wasn’t, so I said I’d find someone. I didn’t think his dad would be there soon enough (turned out he was), so I called his aunt, hoping she would be close by (she works close to the hospital and passes it on the way home. Low and behold, she was on her way home and only had to take a slight detour to get to N quickly. She and N’s dad waited while they did the procedure and kept me updated, which I appreciated very much.
It turns out N has 3 ulcers, a hiatal hernia, and esopogitis. Dang! He was moved into a room where they gave him his second unit of blood. I felt so trapped in my hospital room. I wanted so much to be there for him, not to mention feeling overwhelmed at the circumstances surrounding the twins’ first night away from both of us. It’s a wonder I slept at all.
But I did. And I woke up to the sound of my phone notifying me of a text (well, I woke several other times, too, due to the usual hospital interruptions). It was N, saying “We could totally chat on Facepages!” lol So I got on my computer so we could talk to each other. Not sure why we didn’t just use the phone, but it was good to converse with him anyway.
My nurse (I had the same one all 4 days!) knew what was going on, so she brought me my final dose of tikosyn early so that she could do the EKG and get me discharged as quickly as possible. I don’t think I’ve ever had a discharge go that quickly! God bless her! She even walked me over to the main hospital via skybridge. Oddly enough, we ran into my EP on the way! When he heard what was going on he rolled his eyes and said, “Well, the good news is, you stayed in sinus rhythm through all that!” :/ He walked most of the way with us then went wherever he’d been headed.
I got to N’s room by 9:30 AM. His mom brought the twins and we all waited to find out what was going to happen. Poor N hadn’t had anything to eat since the morning before because he had been NPO for the endoscopy, they lifted it in the middle of the night, but then reinstated it before he could have breakfast because his blood levels were lower than they liked. The GI doc finally came by around noon and said as far as he was concerned, N was clear to go home that day, but it was up to his admitting doc. She came by a little later and said she wanted two more lab draws before sending him home, but did allow him to eat.
We decided I would go home with the twins and come back to get him (or his mom would) if he was released. Turns out, he was not. His blood was not where she wanted it to be, so the doc kept him one more night. I was so ready for the whole family to sleep under our own roof again!
The next morning N called to say he’d been released. He said the doc didn’t really want to, but knew he was a nurse and knew what to watch for. N’s mom picked him up and brought him home. He has to go in for a repeat endoscopy in a few weeks to check on his esophogitis and he has an appointment with a back specialist on Tuesday. Today we are all taking it easy. It’s been a really long week! I’m ready to get off this soap opera!!!
07.02.09
Due Date Day!
Today is Kyla and Lucas’s Due Date Day! They are doing so great.
We also had Lucas’s followup for his arm. N was very nervous because the xray showed that the bone is still at a bit of an angle, but the orthopedist said this wasn’t a problem and it would straighten over time. Yea!!! We don’t have to go back at all if we don’t want to, but he said we could do a followup in 2 months if we just wanted to check on his progress. Also, Lucas is now moving that right arm quite a bit and anyone who didn’t know he had a broken arm when he was born would never even notice.
It has been so fun getting to know their personalities. I realize, of course, that they will change as they grow, but for now we’ve noticed some distinct differences between the two of them. Lucas is much more “needy.” When he’s awake, but sleepy, he likes to be held. He can sit in his bouncy seat and stare at one spot for quite a while (he’s very focused), but soon he starts fussing just to be in someone’s arms. Forget sticking a pacifier in his mouth to sooth him. It won’t stay unless you hold it there. But hold him close and he is content (most of the time). Kyla also loves to be held, but doesn’t seem to need it as much as Lucas. She also seems to be developing her visual and motor skills a bit sooner than Lucas (makes sense, considering the arm). When she’s awake she looks all around. N was trying to get her to look at him one day and she looked everywhere but at him! LOL She’s also picking up her head pretty well and can even hold it up for a good 5-10 seconds! Lucas lifts his head, but is rarely able to keep it up for long. Kyla appears to have two volumes: off, or full-on scream. There’s no in between, so it’s hard to know if she’s just needing her pacifier back in her mouth (she can keep hers in most of the time) or if there’s a big emergency. N says she must love Shakespeare because she makes “much ado about nothing.” LOL
Oddly enough, they also do a lot of things alike. I knew that identical twins would frequently sync up there schedules with each other, but didn’t expect our little fraternal babies to do so to the extent that they do. Every now and then their feeding schedules will manage to get a little off from one another, but they always work their way back to wanting to be fed at the same time. Perhaps that’s my doing, as I try to feed them together at night (saves a little time), but during the day we try to let them dictate their own feeding times. While that one isn’t as much of a surprise, they also seem to have gotten onto the same pooping schedule! Yes, you read that right! It’s not like you can set a clock by them, as they go at various times during the day, but you can almost guarantee that if one has filled his/her diaper, the other has too! Very weird, if you ask me! Oh, and night before last they even got the hiccups at the same time!
Life has been very different in our house, that’s for sure. And even though we sometimes get frustrated because one baby or the other is wanting (no demanding) attention at a time we really would rather be doing something else (like sleep), we are loving it. These two light up our lives and every time we look into either of their faces our hearts melt all over again. We will never be able to say “Thank You” enough to God or our angel, LD, for our little miracles!
06.10.09
Birth Story
Sorry to keep you hanging. We went back in Sunday night after food, naps, showers, and a walk. She was still 5-6 cm dilated.
But she had come to the point where she was done. She told the nurse to tell her OB that she wouldn’t leave until she was no longer pregnant. He said to get some rest and he’d come in the morning to break her water.
We were given our own (tiny) room and took the opportunity to get some sleep (as best we could on a hospital bed and cot (at least we have practice). Around 8:15 on Monday morning he broke her water and about 15 minutes later started her on a low dose (4) of pitocin. Contractions got a bit more frequent and a tad stronger, but still not enough… They upped the pitocin to 6 and things really picked up. I decided to go pump one last time (it was emotionally difficult watching LD go through so much for us). About 7 minutes later I get a text from Nathan to “wrap it up.” I pack up my things as fast as I can and rush back to the room. She’d gotten to 8 cm dilation and things were really picking up. Before we knew it she was saying she needed to push and the nursing staff jumped into action, wheeling her down to the OR (for “in case”).
Getting her settled into the OR felt like it took forever, but it probably only took minutes. As soon as Dr. K walked in, he got to work giving LD instructions.
Kyla Rose was born vaginally at 10:59 AM, weighing 6 lbs. 2 oz. and measuring 19.5 inches long. Through my tears I watched the nurses clean off my daughter (my daughter!).
Then I heard LD screaming. Lucas had turned breech and Dr. K was reaching in to turn him manually. Being unmedicated, LD was in a TON of pain (up until then she was very controlled). Finally, Dr. K pulled him out feet first. He didn’t start crying right away and the nurses shooed us away so the could take care of him. Just as they pulled out the O2 mask Lucas let out a great cry! He weighed 6 lbs 13 oz. and measured 20.5 inches long.
I felt torn between my daughter, my son, and LD. As I checked on her she told me to go be with my babies. I was handed Kyla and Nathan got Lucas. Just before we took them to the nursery to be weighed and such Dr. K came to take a look at Lucas and said to make sure they checked his arm because he had felt something pop.
In the nursery we each stayed with one of the twins, then switched. The nurse examining Lucas noticed that he wouldn’t move his right arm, so they contacted the orthopedist and would not let him be moved until after an xray and ortho consult.
I was torn, but Kyla needed to eat, so I went with her to our room and Nathan stayed with Lucas.
I can’t explain how wonderful it was to put Kyla to my breast and have her latch on the first try! She ate for a good 20 minutes before falling asleep.
Nathan called to say that Lucas’s blood sugar was low and they needed to give him vit. D (I think that’s right) either through a tube down his throat or a bottle. As much as I didn’t want to, I okayed the bottle. Later I got a text saying that Lucas’s right arm was broken and they were sending him to NICU until the ortho determined what to do so they could manage pain.
While I was waiting on word about Lucas I texted LD to find out how she was feeling. David texted back to say she was losing a lot of blood and they were taking her for a D&C. I immediately started praying and worrying.
In the mean time, the nursery came to take Kyla for her bath. I decided to take the opportunity to go see Lucas. Unfortunately, the NICU was at shift change and I wasn’t allowed in. So I returned to the room and waited on word from LD’s husband. Just as I was losing patience waiting for them to return Kyla to me I found out LD was back from the D&C (it may sound like it took very little time to get this news,but it felt like an eternity to me). So I went to the nursery and they were just finishing with Kyla. I asked if we could stop at LD’s room first so she could see her.
OMG, seeing LD so pale was heart wrenching. I hated knowing that we had played a part in her feeling lousy. We showed her Kyla, then left to give her some time to heal.
I was finally able to go see Lucas, so Nathan stayed with Kyla while I went to NICU. The orthopedist happened to come by while I was there (along with my SIL). He showed me the xray. Lucas’s humerus bone (the bone between the elbow and shoulder) had a complete break in the middle of it. So he decided to splint his whole arm, just to immobilize it for comfort, as baby bones heal very easily (if an older child or adult had the same break, they would need plates and pins :thud). I sat with Lucas, with my finger in his mouth for comfort, while the doctor wrapped his arm. The brave (or in shock?) boy didn’t cry at all. The only indications that he was in pain were facial expressions and he would suck harder on my finger… After he was done the doc said he saw no reason why Lucas needed to stay in NICU. Yea!!!
He was released to the nursery where they finally gave him a “bath.” While they did that, I went back to the room to try to feed Kyla again. Soon after, we had both babies together for the first time outside the womb.
There is more to the story, of course, but for now I’m back to feeding my son (he’s doing great!). Both LD and the babies are being released today, so I’ll work on the rest at home.
06.06.09
Hola from Oklahoma
I made it in last night around 9:30. Of course, LD had a pretty quiet day as far as contractions went yesterday, but at least now I’m here if something does happen. Also, if D has gone to work I’ll be here to drive her to the hospital. I think that was another big worry for all of us.
This morning she came in and showed me that the babies have dropped significantly. Lucas is not in her rib (as much) anymore, and Kyla is WAY low. Also, her back is hurting down by her tail bone. We’re hoping all this means they’re getting into position to make their debut, but who knows?
All of us girls (LD, K, S, and myself) went and had pedicures done so that our toes will look pretty for the babies. K has blue toes with white polka dots, S has pink toes with a flower on the big toes and polka dots on the others, LD has a light purple (no decorations), and I have bright red toes with a white flower on each of my big toes only. LD loved sitting in the massaging chair. I’m so glad I could give her a little pampering. I wish I could do even more.
Right now she’s not feeling well (nausea, and “just not right”). She is laying down hoping that will help her feel better. I feel so helpless. I wish there was something I could do to make it better. I’m betting I’ll have that feeling a lot here in the next few days. I just hope that these babies decide to come sooner rather than later so that she doesn’t have to feel so miserable for much longer. My prayers have been that they come tonight. I think that’s LD’s hope as well. Neither of us want to make it to her next appointment (Monday) and face talking to Dr. K about a possible induction.
06.05.09
FYI
Just thought I’d let you know what is going on (or not going on) as far as the babies go.
They cooperated and let me finish the school year without a problem. When LD went for her appointment on Monday she was not even remotely dilated. The OB had her stop taking the meds to relax her uterus and said that if she didn’t have the babies by 37 weeks (June 11) he would want to induce labor.
Well, since being off the meds she has been having more and more contractions, which are becoming painful. Last night they were coming about 5-8 minutes apart and we thought there was a good possibility they would decide to come on their cousin’s birthday. However, by morning the contractions had died down and all that was left was a back ache.
To put her mind (and mine) at ease, I am going to go up there to stay until the babies arrive. N will be staying here until he gets “the call” simply because he needs to work and we’d rather not board the dogs until we have to. I’d hoped to have a couple of days after school let out to clean the house a bit, but it looks like the babies would prefer to start out in the filth, rather than build up to it. N fully expects to get a call tonight saying “get up here” but says that if he were to come with me there would not be any sign of them coming any time soon. We shall see. We’re still working on how we’ll get two cars home after they arrive, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it (if anyone has an idea, we’re all ears ). Hopefully I’ll be able to hook into LD’s internet and stay connected to you all this way. If not, I’ll have my cell.
It is a bit odd thinking about the fact that this will be the last time I will see my dogs, my house, my life without our children in tow. Goodbye old life, hello parenthood!
05.18.09
Expectations
I’m having a difficult time having realistic expectations of people. It seems I keep expecting people to have the same emotions, or react the same way as I would. Logically, I know this is unrealistic. I am the only me, and others are not going to think the same way. However, that doesn’t stop me from being disappointed when my friends or family do not react the way I expect/hope they will.
First, there’s my mom. I had expected her to want to see her grandchildren as soon as possible. After all, when my nephew was born, I wanted to be there at the hospital to see him as soon as I possibly could. However, apparently she’s content to wait, and I even get the impression she’s not in any hurry to come see them. Her exact words were “Babies just don’t do it for me. I prefer them when they’re a bit older and can interact more.” I know she didn’t intend to hurt my feelings, but she did. And it’s my own fault for expecting her to feel the way I did when W was born.
Then there’s N. I hope he doesn’t mind me sharing this. We’ve talked about it, and I know that he loves our children and is just as excited as I am to meet them. But I unrealistically expected him to want to be totally involved in the pregnancy as well. Because that’s what I want. It’s not that he’s uninterested in the pregnancy, he just is more interested in once the babies are here, and doesn’t really think about the pregnancy except to the extent that things are going well. This weekend I went and stayed with LD and got to feel the babies move. We’d felt it a little the last time we came up, but this was completely different. Before it was like little flutters. But now you can actually feel limbs and imagine what each baby is doing! The whole time I kept thinking “N needs to feel this!” Yet, when I described it to him he said “I’ll feel it next Wednesday” (we’re going up for an u/s). I said “If the babies aren’t born before then!” And he said “Then I’ll get to hold them.” He didn’t get it. And there’s no reason why he should. But it disappointed me anyway.
I’m feeling quite nostalgic as our journey is coming close to the next chapter. I feel like I missed a lot that I had hoped/expected to experience. I haven’t spent nearly as much time with LD as I’d meant to. I haven’t been to all the appointments, as I’d planned. And I feel a little bit of a sadness that the experience I’ve had isn’t quite what I’d hoped for when we started. Not that it’s been a bad experience! Nor is it anyone’s fault that there’s a difference between hopes and reality. I think that the fault really is with me. I needed more flexibility in my vision of what the “prefect” journey would be.
As I’m writing this I realize that LD or N might interpret this post as somehow a lack of something in them. And that is SO completely not true! They have been wonderful. LD shares everything with me and wants me to see this pregnancy as mine. I couldn’t ask for a better friend and GS. And N has been super supportive and has put up with my roller coaster of emotions throughout this experience. No, I can’t blame anyone but myself. I think I misjudged what was realistic. I’ve never been pregnant, and I think I romanticized what the pregnancy would be like. And now that we’re in the thick of it, I’m realizing that it may not be possible for the end (or new beginning?) to be the way I hope.
I want SO much to be there for the birth. But I’m very afraid I won’t be. When I expressed my fears to N this evening he told me I could move up to OK and wait for them to arrive if that’s what I need. But I know that’s not realistic. I do have a job to finish (though if the babies come, that’s just too bad). And I’d hate for LD to feel like a watched pot. And of course, chances are, if I were to go up now, they would wait until after the last day of school anyway. All I can do for now is pray that we’ll have enough warning that we can make it to the hospital before the babies are delivered. As much as I want them to wait until after school is done, I’m kind of hoping we go up next week for the u/s and they say it’s time to go into the hospital and deliver some babies. Just so we can stop the waiting.
LD seems to think that will be the day anyway. She’s had a dream that her water will break that night/morning, D thinks it will be that day, and apparently a friend of hers that is “slightly psychic” sees a 2 or a 7 in our future (how about both!). But even though it seems like a perfect arrangement, I don’t want them born that early. That would be one day shy of 35 weeks. That’s not long enough.
I know I’m over thinking things. I need to just let them come when and how they are going to. I can’t control this and I shouldn’t agonize over it, but that’s easier said than done.
05.06.09
Update
I just got off the phone with LD. She’s contracting. So they’re giving her fluids and some drug (I forgot what it’s called) to stop them. They’re also giving her antibiotics to make sure that the UTI she had is completely gone. They expect to send her home tonight once things have settled down (she says the contractions are starting to fizzle out). She doesn’t sound great. She’s shaky from the drugs and they had to stick her 4 times to finally get an IV in (plus, she nearly passed out from that). She was nauseous, so I suggested she ask the nurse to give her something for it. I’m pretty sure that’s what she was going to do as soon as we got off the phone. Poor thing went in by herself because she didn’t think it was going to be any big deal. I feel awful that she’s there alone (I know what that’s like)! I so wish school was over (or that I had some more sick days). I’d be up there camping out with her just so she would never have to be alone.
Anyway, on a funny/positive note, the babies are apparently very active tonight. I could hear the fetal monitors in the background, but they weren’t picking up their heart beats very well because Kyla and Lucas were moving around too much! Every now and then I’d hear the “whoosh” sound of one of them kicking at the monitor. LD said they really didn’t like it when the nurse put the monitors on. LOL Boy, those two are going to be a handful! And I can’t wait (strike that… I CAN wait. At least 3 more weeks, preferably).
04.17.09
Details
I’m going to attempt to get some details recorded while I wait for the first coat of paint to dry (N started on the babies’ room and I helped when I got home from work).
First of all, Wednesday night I was probably more nervous than I realized, as I didn’t end up eating dinner really (ate some chips/queso and a slice of pizza), and didn’t get to bed until 11 (that’s late for me!). I must have turned off my 1:30 alarm without waking up because I don’t remember it at all! I woke up 10 minutes before my 5:00 alarm and thought, “Wow. I feel really awake.” Guess 6 hours of sleep at once can do that when it’s been months since you’ve slept more than 3 hours consecutively! LOL
Anyway, I went ahead and got up at 5 and got ready for the day at a leisurely pace. I woke N up around 7ish and we were both set and ready to go at 8. He had even gotten gas and cash the night before, so we didn’t have to worry about that. I made coffee (for him), tea (for me), and toast, so we didn’t have to worry about stopping for breakfast either. I was SO proud of us. We were getting out early enough that we’d be able to have lunch with LD and D. … But lunch was not to be. Before we’d even gotten 30 minutes from the house we hit a spot of traffic. No biggie, right? Nope. We SAT for 45 minutes! We ended up getting to LD’s house at 12 rather than 11 as we’d hoped. We drove through Sonic on the way to the doctor’s office so that N and I could have lunch (I’d already told LD and D to eat without us). We arrived at the perinatologist’s at exactly 1 o’clock. Whew!
The echo tech came in and did an u/s of LD’s cervix because they had heard she’d had some shortening and wanted to check on that. Then she got to looking at the babies. They have grown SO much!
Here’s Kyla:
She was much more cooperative than last time. Though she’s so low that it’s difficult to get a good look at her. She was also being quite the pest to her brother.
Here’s the best we could get of Lucas:
In case you’re wondering, there are THREE little feed in front of Lucas’s face. One is his (we think the one on top) and two belong to Kyla. We can’t decide if she’s saying “Smell my feet!” or kicking him in the face!
The tech finished up and N and I were very confused. We asked, “What about their hearts? We were here to look at their hearts.” Well, the tech said she knew nothing about that. We started to get a bit concerned. Then she said “The doctor will be coming in and he’ll be looking again.” That made us feel better.
Sure enough, the perinatologist came in and started off asking questions about health (mine) and pregnancy history (LD’s). When he heard my long list of heart defects he said “You’re fun. I could talk about you all day!” Glad he thinks so! He then checked the babies’ hearts and they both looked great. All the blood was flowing in the right direction and beating strong. It was SUCH a relief. When he finished up LD asked him a few questions and he said he didn’t see any funneling of her cervix when he looked. Another relief.
After the stressful way the day started, I am SO glad it worked out the way it did. I’d rather have a stressful drive than a stressful appointment!
Now I’m off to paint another coat in the nursery!
04.12.09
A mother’s worry (mixed with a bit of guilt)
Yes, it begins well before the baby is in her arms. Mothers worry. I know this. I’ve always known this. And it has long since begun for me in regards to my two little ones.
Thursday we will be going up to have a fetal echo. This is to check the babies’ hearts and make sure they haven’t inherited my wacky heart instead of my nose or chin. For the most part I’m confident they are fine. We have no evidence that my heart defects are genetic, and quite possibly could be a total fluke. But that doesn’t stop that tiny little grain of doubt to creep into the back of my mind. What if I’ve set up my babies for a life of cardiologist appointments, medication, and surgeries? How am I going to live with that guilt? Yes, they have the advantage of having us as parents, being that we’re VERY familiar with the medical world and will make sure they are taken care of in the best possible way. Not only that, but I can prepare them for what they will face on a personal level, not just medical. However, even with that, and the fact that I am aware that my heart defects have made me the person (and parent) I am today, I would not wish this on my children for all the world.
So I’m hoping to breathe a heavy sigh of relief on Thursday afternoon.
