05.30.09
Getting anxious
I know we’re all getting a bit anxious to meet these precious ones. LD is probably the most anxious of all, since she feels she’s as big as a house (but I think she looks fabulous!). People are always saying stuff like “When are those babies going to get here?” and all I can say is “When they get here! They haven’t let us in on their plans.”
Nathan and I were talking the other day and both feel the same way. We’re really ready for the waiting for their birth day to arrive, but at the same time, we’re not sure if we’re ready to be parents. Is anyone ever ready???
That’s another question I get constantly: “Do you have everything ready yet?” Standard answer: “If they come today, we’d be okay. But that doesn’t mean that everything is done. I don’t think that will ever happen!”
Ooh! And the question I hate most: “Aren’t you glad you don’t have to be the one carrying all that baby around?” or “Aren’t you glad you get to sleep through the night for now?” Ugh! First version: “No. I’d trade it in an instant.” (people just don’t get it, do they?) Second version: “Are you kidding? I haven’t gotten to sleep through the night the past 4 months! I’m inducing lactation and have to pump at night.” 
I know they all mean well and our situation is a bit different to everyone. I don’t really mind answering the questions, because I figure it’s just their way of trying to feel involved. But sometimes I wish people would think a little bit before they speak. 
05.27.09
Quick Update
For those of you who are checking this site hourly today, the day is NOT today. We’re back home and the babies appear to be snuggled in for the long haul. LD’s cervix is still 3.1 cm long. We expect they’ll stay put for another week or two (of course, you never can tell with babies!). We did get a surprise today. It appears that baby boy has turned to transverse (sideways) instead of the head down he’s been for awhile. Baby girl is still head down, and that’s the important thing (we’re aiming for a vaginal birth, so she has to be head down for the OB to consider it). There’s still time for him to turn again, but LD’s OB is saying he wants to “talk” with her at her appointment on Monday. LD expects a battle. I think they both just like to poke at each other to see how much of a rise they can get. Hopefully LD will stop worrying about it between now and then (She was thinking about it all afternoon). No need to stress when she has no idea what his “talk” will entail.
So the wait continues. I’m glad, for the most part. But it sure is hard to wait!
Great Day!
Last night was the premier of “Rockin’ on Rockcrossing,” our entry for this year’s 24-Hour Video Race. There were 8 teams competing in our semifinal heat. Out of the 8, only 3 were chosen to advance to the finals… And we were one of those teams! 
The finals are on Wednesday of next week. So I guess LD will have to keep her legs crossed a bit longer.
Today we’re heading to OK for an ultrasound. Along with seeing the babies all squished up in there, we’re hoping to find out if there have been any cervical changes as of yet. That should indicate if labor is imminent or not. N and I agree that part of us is completely ready for this stage of the worry to be over, but the other part knows that we’ve got the easy end of the deal right now and we’re not sure if we’re totally ready to take over! Good thing we don’t get a say in the matter!
Hopefully we’ll be home early enough tonight that I can update. But if not, don’t panic. I promise to update as soon as I get a chance. 
05.24.09
We made it!
Not only did we turn our movie in on time (with 1.5 minutes to spare!), but the babies behaved and stayed put! Another great video race in the can. The whole day I kept thinking about the fact that this time next year our son and daughter will be nearly a year old. I wonder how they’ll feel about video race birthday parties? I am looking forward to the day they can join us in the race. Who knows, next year they could have cameos! But no, they will not be staying up with us the whole 24 hours. And they will probably be staying with a grandparent. They’ll have to duke it out over which one gets to do the honors.
Yesterday was very different for us as far as video races go. I was not in the movie at all (this has only happened one other time). I was okay with that, though. Starting on Friday I became incredibly swollen. My ankles were the size of footballs and my toes looked like sausages. It was quite painful. I was much happier behind the camera. I also had to take a break once in awhile to pump. I didn’t pump nearly as many times as I would have on a normal day, but I did manage to get in 5 before we headed to the finish line. I just hope it doesn’t throw me off too much (I wouldn’t think one day would be too big a deal). When we got home from the finish line I decided to pump before going to bed so I could sleep for a longer chunk. I fell asleep attached to the pump. Fortunately, N got a phone call before he got into bed. He noticed I’d been gone a long time (I was pumping in the babies’ room) and he came to find me. I have no idea how long I’d been sleeping. Then, N said my face looked strange (red) and that my mouth was moving funny when I talked. Not sure what that was about.
Oh! And before the race started I decided to pump in the car so I could make it through planning without needing to. We were parked in a handicap spot in the parking garage. Which, unfortunately, is next to the elevators and the security office. After the second security officer came by to check on me I just said “I’m pumping breastmilk.” The security guy put his hands up and said “‘Nuff said,” and backed away. It was pretty funny. It was a great spot for getting out quickly, but it was a bit embarrassing.
Well, I’m off to pump again! Then I think it’s time for a nap. I’m not recovered from yesterday yet…
05.22.09
Packed and ready
So in an effort to stave off the babies for at least another week, N and I finally got everything not only packed, but into the trunk of his car. We are hoping the babies do not come this weekend at all, as our annual 24 hour Video Race is starting tonight at midnight.
Yes, apparently we enjoy torturing ourselves with sleep depravation. Which I suppose makes us the perfect candidates for twin parenthood! LOL
Part of the reason we’re worried they will decide to celebrate their birthday this weekend is because they have been torturing poor LD. First, on Wednesday morning she woke up feeling great and started cleaning the shower (uh-oh! Nesting?). Then when she tried to eat lunch she started vomiting uncontrollably until there was nothing left to throw up. Which, of course, triggered contractions. So she made another visit to L&D. They gave her IV fluids, zofran, and got her back under control before sending her back home (oddly enough, they no longer have to ask her name when she arrives!). She continued to feel awful the rest of the day, but has now returned to feeling great. Well, except for the foot she’s pretty sure she broke! 
She pulled out a drawer a bit too far and it fell on her foot. She says her foot is now very blue/purple, swollen, and numb. 
So now, even if she wanted to get up off the couch, her foot is preventing that… Hmm… Maybe that’s not a bad thing.
So, we’re off to the races in just a few minutes! Wish us luck! And pray those kids of ours don’t interrupt!!!
05.18.09
Expectations
I’m having a difficult time having realistic expectations of people. It seems I keep expecting people to have the same emotions, or react the same way as I would. Logically, I know this is unrealistic. I am the only me, and others are not going to think the same way. However, that doesn’t stop me from being disappointed when my friends or family do not react the way I expect/hope they will.
First, there’s my mom. I had expected her to want to see her grandchildren as soon as possible. After all, when my nephew was born, I wanted to be there at the hospital to see him as soon as I possibly could. However, apparently she’s content to wait, and I even get the impression she’s not in any hurry to come see them. Her exact words were “Babies just don’t do it for me. I prefer them when they’re a bit older and can interact more.” I know she didn’t intend to hurt my feelings, but she did. And it’s my own fault for expecting her to feel the way I did when W was born.
Then there’s N. I hope he doesn’t mind me sharing this. We’ve talked about it, and I know that he loves our children and is just as excited as I am to meet them. But I unrealistically expected him to want to be totally involved in the pregnancy as well. Because that’s what I want. It’s not that he’s uninterested in the pregnancy, he just is more interested in once the babies are here, and doesn’t really think about the pregnancy except to the extent that things are going well. This weekend I went and stayed with LD and got to feel the babies move. We’d felt it a little the last time we came up, but this was completely different. Before it was like little flutters. But now you can actually feel limbs and imagine what each baby is doing! The whole time I kept thinking “N needs to feel this!” Yet, when I described it to him he said “I’ll feel it next Wednesday” (we’re going up for an u/s). I said “If the babies aren’t born before then!” And he said “Then I’ll get to hold them.” He didn’t get it. And there’s no reason why he should. But it disappointed me anyway.
I’m feeling quite nostalgic as our journey is coming close to the next chapter. I feel like I missed a lot that I had hoped/expected to experience. I haven’t spent nearly as much time with LD as I’d meant to. I haven’t been to all the appointments, as I’d planned. And I feel a little bit of a sadness that the experience I’ve had isn’t quite what I’d hoped for when we started. Not that it’s been a bad experience! Nor is it anyone’s fault that there’s a difference between hopes and reality. I think that the fault really is with me. I needed more flexibility in my vision of what the “prefect” journey would be.
As I’m writing this I realize that LD or N might interpret this post as somehow a lack of something in them. And that is SO completely not true! They have been wonderful. LD shares everything with me and wants me to see this pregnancy as mine. I couldn’t ask for a better friend and GS. And N has been super supportive and has put up with my roller coaster of emotions throughout this experience. No, I can’t blame anyone but myself. I think I misjudged what was realistic. I’ve never been pregnant, and I think I romanticized what the pregnancy would be like. And now that we’re in the thick of it, I’m realizing that it may not be possible for the end (or new beginning?) to be the way I hope.
I want SO much to be there for the birth. But I’m very afraid I won’t be. When I expressed my fears to N this evening he told me I could move up to OK and wait for them to arrive if that’s what I need. But I know that’s not realistic. I do have a job to finish (though if the babies come, that’s just too bad). And I’d hate for LD to feel like a watched pot. And of course, chances are, if I were to go up now, they would wait until after the last day of school anyway. All I can do for now is pray that we’ll have enough warning that we can make it to the hospital before the babies are delivered. As much as I want them to wait until after school is done, I’m kind of hoping we go up next week for the u/s and they say it’s time to go into the hospital and deliver some babies. Just so we can stop the waiting.
LD seems to think that will be the day anyway. She’s had a dream that her water will break that night/morning, D thinks it will be that day, and apparently a friend of hers that is “slightly psychic” sees a 2 or a 7 in our future (how about both!). But even though it seems like a perfect arrangement, I don’t want them born that early. That would be one day shy of 35 weeks. That’s not long enough.
I know I’m over thinking things. I need to just let them come when and how they are going to. I can’t control this and I shouldn’t agonize over it, but that’s easier said than done.
05.12.09
Cat’s out of the bag
This morning on the announcements the principal mentioned my baby shower this afternoon. Which of course got a lot of the students talking. As I passed them in the hall, many of them asked “Are you having a baby?” My response was usually “I will be a mother soon, yes.” To which they ask “Is it a boy or a girl?” And I said “Both.” (this started the confused look) Next they’d ask “Well where are they?” And I said “In Oklahoma.” (this left them so confused they’re speechless and I just walked away! LOL). It was a bit awkward, but amusing too.
Then 5th grade came to the library… One student looked at me and said “You’re pregnant?” I answered an honest “No.” And she replied “Yes you are” and proceeded to pat my stomach! :-0 I removed her hand, looked her in the eye and said “I am not pregnant.” I ended up explaining to that class what was going on and that same student said “Oh! Like Baby Mama!” I rolled my eyes and said “Sort of.” I left it at that, though. Didn’t want to deal with it any more.
After school was the baby shower. I have to say, I felt royally awkward. I just don’t like being the center of attention. Everyone gathered in the computer lab, ate a cupcake and drank punch while watching me open presents, then everyone dispersed. It felt very weird. But I did get some very sweet gifts. I especially loved the hand made, personalized blankets as well as the hand made scrapbook that is just waiting for pictures to fill the beautiful personalized pages.
After the shower one of the teachers came to me and said her sons (who attend our school) were asking her about “the lady who’s taking care of Mrs. Herron’s babies.” They wanted to know if she’s a good person, if she’s taking good care of the babies, if she’s feeding them, etc. I thought that was so cute/sweet! I saw them as I walked down the hall to get my things from my office. I told them “She’s a VERY nice person and takes excellent care of the babies.” The oldest one asked “Who told you?” I said “Your mom. It’s fine. Would you like to see a picture of her?” They said yes and came with me to my office where I showed them a recent belly pic of LD. They asked a few more questions and I told them if they wanted to know anything else they were free to ask me. For some reason talking to the kids of teachers (or parents I know) doesn’t bother me. I just feel strange talking to kids who’s parents aren’t aware of the situation…
I’m sure I’ll be answering questions more in depth in the week(s) to come now that the “cat’s out of the bag” so to speak. Should be an interesting day tomorrow!
05.09.09
So this is what nesting feels like…
LD continues to have contractions that come and go. We know this is fairly normal with a twin pregnancy, but it doesn’t stop us from worrying just a little that our wee ones are planning an early arrival.
So the panic has set in to get everything ready. Today I spent the whole day doing baby laundry (5 loads) and reorganizing things in the nursery so they are more compatible with our needs (when I got it all back into the room for the party it was pretty much a free-for-all, putting things wherever they fit).
I also started packing the diaper bag. Only, I don’t know what size clothes or diapers to put in there. I’m thinking I’ll just stick a pack of premie diapers and a pack of newborn diapers into the trunk of the car, and whichever we need is the one we’ll open when the time comes. After all, the hospital will provide some for while we’re there. As for clothes, I have some onsies that say “0-3 months,” yet appear to be the same size as the premie ones I’ve got (but I assume they stretch). So I’m thinking I’ll take those and if they’re a bit big, so what. Plus, they’ll have clothes from the hospital too.
I hope to have both the babies’ bag and our bag packed by the end of the weekend. LD says she got hers packed today. My prayer is that by being ready, Kyla and Lucas will decide to settle in for a bit longer. Actually, N and I think they’ll probably come either in the middle of Video Race, or the next morning, after we’ve been up for nearly 48 hours straight. It would be just our luck.
Anyway, we do appreciate all the prayers that the twins stay put awhile longer. And we know that you will continue them. Hopefully God’s plans and ours will coincide just a little this time.
05.06.09
Update
I just got off the phone with LD. She’s contracting. So they’re giving her fluids and some drug (I forgot what it’s called) to stop them. They’re also giving her antibiotics to make sure that the UTI she had is completely gone. They expect to send her home tonight once things have settled down (she says the contractions are starting to fizzle out). She doesn’t sound great. She’s shaky from the drugs and they had to stick her 4 times to finally get an IV in (plus, she nearly passed out from that). She was nauseous, so I suggested she ask the nurse to give her something for it. I’m pretty sure that’s what she was going to do as soon as we got off the phone. Poor thing went in by herself because she didn’t think it was going to be any big deal. I feel awful that she’s there alone (I know what that’s like)! I so wish school was over (or that I had some more sick days). I’d be up there camping out with her just so she would never have to be alone.
Anyway, on a funny/positive note, the babies are apparently very active tonight. I could hear the fetal monitors in the background, but they weren’t picking up their heart beats very well because Kyla and Lucas were moving around too much! Every now and then I’d hear the “whoosh” sound of one of them kicking at the monitor. LD said they really didn’t like it when the nurse put the monitors on. LOL Boy, those two are going to be a handful! And I can’t wait (strike that… I CAN wait. At least 3 more weeks, preferably).
Not worried, but prayers wouldn’t hurt
LD is on her way to L&D. She’s been having a lot of B/H today, which seems odd given she’s been taking the terbutaline. She asked me what I wanted her to do and I said “Have you called Dr. K?” She said “Duh. I didn’t think of that.” So she put in a call, and of course, he recommended that she come in to be checked. N said she’s just bored now that school is out and needed a little excitement. We’re all pretty sure it is no big deal (though the panic in N’s voice when he heard it was me on the line was interesting), but would rather err on the side of caution. We will be 32 weeks tomorrow, so we’d really like for Kyla and Lucas to stay snuggled in for a few more weeks. Prayers in that direction would be much appreciated.
Guess I’ll go do some dishes to keep myself distracted. That way if we are heading out today my MIL (who will come to take care of the dogs) won’t be coming into a completely filthy house!
