09.29.08
OMG THAT HURT!
I just did my second shot of Gonal-F and that HURT! 
I tried to give it to myself, but it was refusing to go through my skin. N thought I was being silly and so he tried. I didn’t look, but I could tell exactly when my skin FINALLY gave in. It was SO painful. Then, it took forever to get all 300 units in and when he took out the needle, I was bleeding. I could see a bruise forming almost immediately. 
That was not fun. And I don’t know if it was just because of the nerves from that one, but the lupron shot was more difficult to get in as well. I think my belly is rebelling!
Now I’m going to be freaking out with every shot. Things had been going so well!
Back to the grindstone
I went back to work today and I just got home. I’m about to fall asleep as I type this, I’m so tired! But I’m doing much better than I was on Friday! It really wasn’t until I got home that I crashed. I did leave a little early, though. I have been WAY more sore today than I have been. I think it’s from being upright for more of the day. I’d been feeling pretty good over the weekend, but I spent most of that time laying on the couch reading. I think gravity has been my enemy today. Oh, well.
I’m sorry to say I still have no update on my ICD saga. I tried calling Dr. D’s office and I asked if there was any new information. All I got was a “No.” Not a “Let me see if I can find out something for you.” Not a “I’m sorry.” Just “No.” I was very put out and it took about all I had to not sit in my office and cry. Of course, it probably didn’t help that I’d also just had a horrible time with kindergarten and felt like my brain had forgotten how to teach or something. I’m SO hoping my brain decides to come with me to work tomorrow. I’ve got WAY more classes to deal with tomorrow and it would help if my brain attended.
WARNING: the following may be TMI!
Today marks the second day of stim meds. I’m assuming it’s related, but I got a little bit of brown spotting today, like at the end of AF. I’d thought AF was good and gone, but I guess there was just a little left or something. I’m not too worried, though. If it continues I’ll contact Ronda or I’ll mention it tomorrow when I go in for my blood work.
09.28.08
Egg makin’
I took my first shot of Menopur this morning. It took way more prep than the lupron. First I had to draw up 1 mL of saline, then inject it into a vile with some powder in it, let that dissolve, draw it back out, put it into a second vile with powder and let that dissolve, then draw it up one more time and finally inject it into my belly. Whew! Let me tell you, pushing in 1 mL of fluid through a sub Q needle takes awhile. At least compared to the 10 units of lupron. And these needles are slightly longer than the lupron ones, so it was a bit freakier than the last 1.5 week has been. That’s okay, though. I can do it. I wonder how the Gonal F will be tonight…
N freaked me out, though. I went in and told him I’d taken my first shot of Menopur this morning. He says “I thought you didn’t start that until tonight.” I said, “No, I take the Menopur in the morning and the Gonal F at night. Remember, she said to keep them 12 hours apart.” He said “But I thought everything started at night.” I started to second guess myself. Finally, I checked the calendar. I’m right. He’s wrong. Whew!
09.27.08
Nothing new
I don’t have anything new to update. Just wanted to pop in and say I’m getting REALLY excited. Tomorrow is the first day of stim meds. I’m nervous because this means I’ll be giving myself THREE shots a day (so far it’s just been one). Fortunately, they are all sub Q, so at least they aren’t painful, but for someone who is creeped out seeing needles enter ANY flesh, it’s a bit disturbing to do to yourself. 
I’ve had an extremely quiet day today. I woke up at 1:30 and couldn’t get back to sleep. So I left the bedroom and camped out on the sofa bed in our “potential baby’s room” to read a book. N came in around 6:30, not realizing I’d been up for 5 hours already. After I finished the book (around 7:15), I tried to snooze for a little bit, but my dog kept whining. First to be put up on the bed, then to go outside, then to get back on the bed… I gave up. And I’ve found that our old sofa bed in the baby’s room is the most comfortable spot in the house right now. I’m able to lie on it in such a way that my shoulder doesn’t bother me and neither does my back. So that is where I’ve spent the majority of the day. N went and got his brother around noon and they’ve been camped out in his game room all afternoon/evening and I’ve managed to read two books today. I’m about to start my third. I think my body needed this recharge. I am hoping I’ll be ready to tackle a full day of school on Monday.
Oh! And on a very happy note, my college roommie had her baby on Monday! So while I was in surgery, she was in labor. He came 5 weeks early and was only 5 lbs, but they were able to take him home on Wednesday, so that’s wonderful news. I found out that he tested “almost” jaundice and they are keeping an eye on his levels but so far his numbers are decreasing, so that’s excellent news as well. I can’t wait until I can go and visit him! 
09.26.08
Friday update
Since I know how frustrating it has been for ME to not get an update, I figured I’d send one out to all of you.
I went to Dr. D’s office this morning so the NP could check my incision and so I could show him my uvula (you know, the thing that hangs down in the back of your throat? Mine’s swollen and yucky looking.). After he looked over everything, N and I pretty much poured our guts out about how frustrated we have been with not knowing anything and no one seeming to bother keeping us in the loop. He said he completely understood and then paged Dr. D so that he could give us any information he could. This is what he came back with:
On Wed. Dr. D decided he wanted a little more data before taking me back into surgery on Thursday. He contacted the Mayo Clinic to see if they had some pictures that could show more precisely where my blood vessels are. They apparently did not have that information. So now he is working with Dr. P (my cardiologist), who has put him in contact with an EP at Children’s here in Dallas, Dr. S. So now Dr. D and Dr. S are talking and trying to figure out what the best plan of action for me is… No one knows when this will be decided.
I went ahead and decided to go in to work for the second half of the day. I figured it would help keep my mind off of things and I had a bunch of stuff I needed to get done anyway. Not long after I arrived I got paged over the loud speaker to come to the office. Having no clue why they would call me down, I wandered in. Turns out Dr. P was on the phone for me! I had not called her, but she felt like it was important to let me know what was going on so far (novel concept!).
She gave me almost the same exact information I’d gotten earlier in the day, but she did add a little more. She said that Dr. S is trying to figure out if the benefit of the bi-ventricular pacing outweighs the risks of putting me through yet another surgery. When Dr. P pointed out that my heart function has improved since getting the ICD he said “but is that because of the device, or because of the meds?” Well, I can honestly say I believe it’s the ICD. I had been on the meds for quite some time with no improvement. But shortly after getting the ICD there was significant improvement. To me, there is no question. But this is apparently where the doctors are now.
So I still know nothing, but at least I know who is talking about me behind my back and what the hold up is. I don’t know when I will know anything, but I’m hoping we’ll be more informed than we have been up to this point. I seriously doubt I’ll find out anything over the weekend. It would be nice, but I won’t hold my breath. I’ll let you know if I turn out to be wrong.
On surrogacy news, everything is still set to go for starting stims on Sunday! Woo hoo! Getting closer!
09.25.08
No such luck
Well, I had hoped I’d hear from Dr. D tonight. No such luck. I’d also hoped I’d be going to work tomorrow. Again, no such luck. I called Dr. D’s office around 4 o’clock to see if I could find out anything. I thought it might help move things along some if I told them I was having some bleeding at the incision site (I am, but I’m not really worried about it). Well, it got them into gear, but not the way I wanted. The nurse talked to Dr. D, who had him call in an antibiotic and now I’m to report to the office tomorrow morning at 9:45. I might be able to go to work in the afternoon (I hope to), but there’s not much point to trying to go in beforehand.
You’d think the fact that I’m going in tomorrow might be a good thing and I’d find out some answers. But no. Dr. D won’t be there. He’s having his partner look at my incision. But I’m going to try to find out something. I need to be able to set up for a sub if that is needed.
Still clueless
I still know nothing about the ICD surgery. But I’m feeling a little better. I talked to Ronda a little while ago and she said everything is good to go for starting the stim meds on Sunday. I don’t go in again until Tuesday for blood work. I got to thinking about the fact that Dr. D’s scheduler said he is aiming for next week on the surgery. All I have to go in for next week is blood work, no sonograms. So I asked Ronda if I wind up having surgery next week, would it be possible for N to draw my blood and deliver it to them. She said that would work. So at least I know we have a contingency plan if need be. Now if I could just hear from Dr. D…
Some good/Some bad
First the good news:
I went in this morning and had my baseline sonogram for the surrogacy. Apparently the slight spotting I had is about all I can expect, since they are suppressing my system so much. Everything looks good there and we’re all set for me to start stimulating my ovaries on Sunday.
Now the not-so-good news:
I finally heard from my EP’s office and we are NOT having surgery today. Or even this week for that matter. The scheduling person I talked to said that he has a lot more coordinating he needs to do before doing my procedure. Also, something about talking to the Mayo Clinic doctor. She said she thought he would have called me by now, but since he hadn’t I should expect to hear from him this afternoon or evening. If I don’t, she says to call her in the morning. She says he’s aiming for next week. Well, news flash, next week is no good for me. I’ve got appointments with for the surrogacy set up for Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, Monday, Tuesday, and Egg Retrieval on Thursday. The transfer is the following Sunday or Tuesday. He’ll just have to wait until after that. I’m tired of not being told what is going on. If he can’t coordinate with ME, then I’ll have my cardiologist find me someone who can. I’ve said it over and over. I like Dr. D as a doctor, but only when he actually talks to me. Unfortunately, more often than not I’m left completely out of the loop and my frustration continues to mount. If he would just tell me why there has been a delay or what he is thinking I could deal with this much better. I’m planning to call my cardiologist and see if she can get me any information. It’s ridiculous that I have to go through another doctor just to get any information from this one.
I’ll let you know if/when I find out more. I’m thinking I may go in to work tomorrow. It’s a light day and it will keep my mind busy. I’m going to see how I do today.
Thanks for the prayers.
4 AM Spotting
I woke up this morning at 4 AM needing to use the restroom and wondering if AF had decided to make an appearance. She had not. The dog also needed to answer the call of nature, so I let him out and sat on the couch with the lap top to wait for his return. While waiting I started feeling very bloated and uncomfortable. I realize this is probably TMI, but I had not had a bowel movement since Monday because of all the pain killers, so I figured things were finally starting to get moving. Having an abdominal incision makes this very difficult and uncomfortable, so I sat in the bathroom and took my time. Low and behold, not only did I finally move those bowels, but there is a bit of spotting from AF present as well. I am hoping that by my 8 AM appointment she will be completely present and accounted for so that I no longer have to stress about THAT aspect of my day… Waiting for surgery news is a different matter altogether.
09.24.08
Killing me slowly
UGH!!! I think Dr. D’s office is trying to kill me off. I seriously do. Here it is, 5:45 on Wednesday evening and I still do not know when my surgery, that’s SUPPOSED to take place on Thursday will be. I called at 11 like he told me to. I had to leave a message. No one called me back. I got a call from someone else in his office asking me who my surgeon at the Mayo Clinic was (don’t they have this information!?!?) and if I have his #. I waited and waited to hear back. Nothing. Around 3 I tried calling his scheduler again. As soon as she found out it was me she said “I have to talk to Dr. D and I’ll call you back.” Nothing.
I had N call about 20 minutes before 5. She said she couldn’t schedule anything until she got the orders from Dr. D, but he is still waiting to hear from Mayo. WHAT?!?! When I saw him yesterday he didn’t indicate there was any question about what he would be doing. So why do we suddenly have to wait on the Mayo to call back? N asked if the surgery was still going to be tomorrow and she said she had no idea. I said “So do I eat after midnight?” And she said “Better not, just in case.” She says that someone will call me in the morning and let me know unless Dr. D calls me himself tonight.
This is SO cruel!!! How in the world is a heart patient supposed to deal with this much stress at once?!? Plus, I’m supposed to have that sono tomorrow morning (was originally Friday morning, but I changed it because I thought I’d be in the hospital) and I have to get my period before then and I think the stress is holding it at bay. I’m afraid to ask “What next?!”
